By: Clara Jenkins
Updated: August 23, 2015
Originally Published: August 22, 2010
I’m a mother. A wife. A potential psychopath. A pretty decent human being. I am not a maid, I am not a chef, and I am not a hired hand.
The Pressure of Parenting
In today’s world, it often feels like every parenting decision we make is the wrong one. The societal pressures are overwhelming. I constantly grapple with the concept of what it means to be a “great” parent. You know the type: their laundry is always done, their homes are spotless, and they personally drive their kids to school daily. They spend quality time playing games and plan exciting outings with the family, complete with healthy snacks like kale chips and yogurt.
Well, let me tell you, that’s not me.
The Reality of My Home
The reality is, my dining room table is a no-go zone, buried under an avalanche of laundry that has piled so high we wouldn’t even be able to see each other’s faces if we sat down. Honestly, I might just have to start wearing my period underwear as a fashion statement soon. My elderly dog has taken to dragging soggy socks off the line, and my son’s shoes? Let’s just say they’ve been chewed to bits by the family pet. I haven’t even bothered to pick them up yet; they’ll still be there next week, just like the Duplo block and clean diaper that have become permanent fixtures in my hallway. My daughter currently has a very dirty diaper that I’ll get to… eventually.
Screen Time Struggles
Did your kid watch more than an hour of TV today? Most days, my son is glued to the screen from 7 until 10—sometimes even until 11. I often don’t realize it’s been on all day until it’s 1 p.m. and he’s deeply immersed in his obsession with Pirate Jake, reminiscent of a meth addiction.
Playing with Kids
Do your kids ask you to play with them all day? Mine do, and just a moment ago, my daughter made the same request. But here I am, sipping coffee and being the “bad mom” while I write this. Playing with my kids is about as appealing as getting out of bed each morning. Remember the days when we entertained ourselves for hours while our parents did adult things? Yeah, our kids can do that too.
Meal Preparation Woes
Are you stressed out about preparing healthy meals? My kids sometimes have white bread with butter and cake for dinner. Yep, that happened last night. Oh, and let’s not forget the chocolate bar they had during their brother’s BMX training at 7 p.m. What’s the big deal?
After-School Activities
Do you feel overwhelmed by the idea of enrolling your child in countless after-school activities? I feel you. My 10-year-old son participates in just one activity, and sometimes I even tell him it’s canceled just to avoid going. Insert the usual parental excuses here: “My back hurts,” “I’m on my period,” “It’s too cold,” or my personal favorite, “I have social anxiety and cried in the car at the thought of volunteering.”
Crafty Projects
Is your friend from social media posting crafty projects with her kids again? Don’t worry, that doesn’t concern me. Have you ever tried cleaning up glitter and paint? Not in my house. Pencils and pens are as creative as it gets unless I’m feeling particularly generous and the house is spotless—which, let’s be honest, is a rare occurrence.
Matching Socks
Do you stress over whether your kids are wearing matching socks? Right now, my daughter is sporting one of my socks and one of her brother’s. She’s two; I think she’s doing just fine.
Communication with Kids
Do your kids talk to you? Mine do. I just smile and wave.
Handling Tantrums
Does it all become too much when your children are throwing tantrums in the store? And there’s that woman giving you the disapproving look? Just smile and wave, folks.
Language Around Kids
Do you find yourself watching your language around your kids because they pick up everything? The other day, my daughter called our dog a “Fudge Head.” I’ll take a high-five later.
Embracing Imperfection
The truth is, none of this makes me a bad parent. It simply means I’m at ease with my parenting style. Sometimes, these little ones need to learn independence. It’s okay to indulge in less-than-healthy food, and screen time can be a lifesaver when you’re feeling overwhelmed. After all, it’s better than yelling at them all day, right?
The laundry may not be done, but that’s because I’m focused on other things—like enjoying my coffee, which I have a deep-seated aversion to giving up.
My kids might swear occasionally because, well, sometimes adults do too.
Human First, Mom Second
We are human first, and being a mother comes a close second. We are still navigating this crazy journey until our last breath. We read bedtime stories, share kisses, and cherish our children, giving them our all—even during our worst days. Their love for us isn’t contingent on the amount of TV they watch or whether their socks matched throughout their childhood.
I, Clara, a constantly evolving human being, am not sidelined by motherhood. Neither are you. I continue to be a decent person even as I embrace my roles as a mother and a wife. Societal expectations can’t hold me down.
Further Reading
For more insights on parenting, check out this fantastic resource about home insemination kits. Also, for those interested in the topic of artificial insemination, this Wikipedia page is an excellent resource.
Conclusion
In summary, embracing the chaos and imperfection of parenting allows us to be comfortable in our journey. We are humans first, navigating the ups and downs of motherhood while giving our best to our children.
Keyphrase: Moms Are People First
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