I’ve always found the saying “step on a crack, break your mother’s back” to be utterly absurd. While my classmates chanted this rhyme, I was left questioning their reasoning skills. Anyone with a bit of education knows that sidewalk cracks and spinal columns have nothing in common. Instead, I focused my thoughts on more believable scenarios, like “touch a public doorknob and contract MRSA.”
Though I wasn’t diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder until I was ten, my crippling fears began much earlier. I vividly remember reading on the couch when I stumbled upon a 20/20 episode about the Ebola virus and its transmission through monkeys. Suddenly, I was consumed with thoughts: How close was I to the monkey exhibit at the zoo? Were those monkeys imported from places like Sudan? Did any of them sneeze?
Fast-forward two decades, and while my fears have evolved, they remain just as relentless. My partner, Jake, often finds it amusing that I’ve dedicated countless hours to researching diseases, yet I don’t hold any medical qualifications. Our household has turned into a game of “let’s remove WebMD from the homepage and wait for her to panic.”
Over time, I’ve learned which OCD triggers to avoid. Specific obsessions can be escalated by certain events, leading me to be cautious. For instance, when salmonella cases rise, I steer clear of salmon—give me a break, I was nine! If the nation is on high alert, I avoid public transport hubs and government buildings. But nothing could prepare me for my ultimate OCD trigger: a positive pregnancy test.
Pregnancy opened up a new world of health concerns. Suddenly, I was at risk for various illnesses that could endanger my unborn child. My focus zeroed in on Listeriosis, which I researched exhaustively, convinced that if I avoided deli meats, soft cheeses, pâté, and raw fish, I could dodge this insidious pathogen. Simple enough.
During my fifth month of what felt like the longest pregnancy ever, news broke of a listeria outbreak traced back to Colorado, though the source was still unknown. I obsessively followed updates, even waking in the night to check for new information. One Tuesday evening, I settled in with a large bowl of pre-cut cantaloupe and Hershey’s syrup to watch CNN when breaking news flashed across the screen: the source of the listeria outbreak had been identified—cantaloupe.
If you encountered me in those days, I sincerely apologize. After calling every grocery store in town, interrogating produce managers, and even sending my friend Lily to ask if they washed their fruits before putting them on the shelves, I was still convinced I required blood tests and antibiotics. I reached out to the nurse at my gynecologist’s office, frantically explaining my situation and requesting a test. Unfazed, she calmed me down, saying I was “fine” and that the outbreak hadn’t reached Central Illinois.
Thinking quickly, I spun a little white lie, claiming I had been traveling around the country on a cantaloupe tour.
She told me to call back if I experienced any symptoms. Nurses these days…
I’ve tucked Listeriosis away in my ever-expanding collection of OCD fascinations (alongside Ebola, melanoma, bird flu, MRSA, and that bizarre Benjamin Button syndrome). I know it will resurface during my next pregnancy, as all my fixations do, but for now, I enjoy a moment of tranquility. That’s the nature of OCD—it’s a cycle of riding the waves of obsession until you find a brief respite. Today is a good day—a peaceful day—so I plan to take a nice walk with my daughter… once I give her stroller a thorough disinfecting. I’ve heard influenza is making quite the comeback.
For more insights into the journey of pregnancy and home insemination, check out this excellent resource from Cleveland Clinic on IVF and fertility preservation. If you’re looking for guidance on self insemination, visit Make a Mom, a reputable source in this field. Don’t forget to explore our post on intracervical insemination syringe kits for more information!
In summary, living with OCD often leads to outlandish lies and excessive worry. However, it also teaches resilience and the importance of finding moments of peace amidst the chaos.
Keyphrase: Outrageous OCD Lies
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