After my third C-section, I made the decision to undergo a tubal ligation. Let’s be real, I’m no spring chicken. After three successful pregnancies and three healthy kids, the thought of expanding our family to six was enough to send me into a panic. Just imagining a fourth baby had me waking up in a cold sweat. No, three was the magic number for me.
So, once I opted for elective sterilization, you’d think life would turn into a blissful experience filled with romance and spontaneity with my husband. And yet, here I was, facing two main hurdles: a) we now had three energetic kids, and b) my period decided to stick around for 21 days each month. After six months of feeling like I was hemorrhaging, I finally snagged an appointment with my overbooked gynecologist. I arranged for a babysitter, stocked up on double maxi pads and iron supplements, and eagerly awaited the day of my appointment.
As I stood by the door, anxiously checking the time for the babysitter’s arrival, I called her when she was five minutes late, but only got her voicemail. Great! I couldn’t afford to miss this appointment. My “period underwear” pile was growing, and let’s just say I was running low on options.
In a moment of desperation, I made the fateful choice. “Alright, kiddos, put on your shoes. Mommy has a doctor’s appointment, and you’re coming with me.”
“Is it gonna hurt? Do you need shots?” my oldest asked as I buckled him into his car seat. “No, shots aren’t on the agenda today,” I replied, but the vision of my legs in stirrups with my sons watching was enough to make me cringe.
Upon checking in, I felt the stares of other patients in the waiting room—like I was the craziest person alive. “Yes, I’m the one bringing three kids to a gynecologist,” I thought, resisting the urge to make a witty comeback to the judgmental lady peering at me over her glasses. Honestly, she was right; this was utterly bonkers.
Once we were in the examination room, panic set in. What on earth was I thinking bringing my kids here? I could handle a little discomfort for another month; I should just leave. Clutching the paper gown in one hand and my purse in the other, I looked at my children. The baby was napping, and the older two were blissfully engrossed in their electronics. “Thank goodness,” I thought, “They don’t even seem to notice what’s happening.”
I quickly changed and settled on the examination table, mentally thanking the creators of modern technology. As the exam began, I nearly forgot my kids were there, too focused on the discomfort I was experiencing. Just then, I heard the unmistakable sound of my phone’s camera clicking.
“What the heck?” I thought, opening my eyes to see my four-year-old standing behind the doctor, phone aimed straight at my vulnerable self. “Um, sweetie, what are you doing?” I asked cautiously, fully aware that I was in no position to be demanding or threatening.
“I’m taking pictures for Daddy!” he replied, completely focused on the screen. “Can I have my phone back, please?” I asked, trying to keep my cool.
“Okay, I’m done!” he chirped. “Done?” I thought. No child ever just hands over a phone willingly! My mind raced with terrifying possibilities—images of my exposed self shared on social media, sent to family members, or worse yet, going viral!
I held my breath as he handed me the phone. Thankfully, it was just a series of 43 adorable selfies, taken from the perspective of a four-year-old who had no clue about reversing the camera.
In conclusion, if you ever find yourself in the unfortunate position of needing to bring your children to a place that you really, really don’t want to take them, remember: it might just work out fine. Just make sure your phone is on airplane mode.
For more advice on fertility, check out this post on fertility boosters for men. If you’re curious about couples’ fertility journeys, this article offers great insights. And for those venturing into the world of IUI, here’s a comprehensive resource on what to expect.
Summary
Navigating a gynecologist appointment while juggling three kids is no small feat. This humorous account highlights the chaos of motherhood, unexpected moments of levity, and the importance of modern technology in tricky situations.
Keyphrase: Taking Kids to Gynecologist
Tags: [“home insemination kit”, “home insemination syringe”, “self insemination”]