Updated: Dec. 1, 2023
When my partner, Alex, and I used to vacation with our in-laws before we had kids, it was a relatively stress-free experience. We’d stay in the same hotel and meet for dinner, while the rest of the day was ours to enjoy as we pleased. However, everything changed once the little ones arrived. Suddenly, our family vacations morphed into a chaotic mash-up of schedules and expectations, often leaving us feeling a bit overwhelmed. After five years of trial and error (and another baby!), I’ve gathered some wisdom that I hope will help you breeze through your next family getaway.
1. Embrace the Unwritten Rule
Remember, what happens on vacation should remain under wraps. So, if you find yourself in an awkward situation—like breastfeeding in front of your in-laws—just laugh it off. You can count on it being a funny story that won’t resurface at the holiday dinner table.
2. Define Roles Clearly
It’s important to establish a division of responsibilities. Typically, the grandparents want to engage in their own activities while the parents tackle the nitty-gritty (and yes, that includes diaper duty). The sooner everyone is on the same page, the smoother the vacation will be.
3. Clarify What “Help” Means
Everyone interprets assistance differently. For me, help meant watching the kids so I could sneak off to the beach, while my mother-in-law thought giving ice cream to our four-month-old was lending a hand. I’ve learned to communicate my requests clearly to avoid confusion.
4. Don’t Overthink Time Apart
It took me too long to realize that my kids could be fine without me for a few hours. Now, I’ve mastered the art of the stealth drop-off. Just hand the baby over and say, “You’ve got this!” as you make your escape.
5. Watch the Schedules
Don’t assume that older relatives and kids will have similar routines. While retirees may be known for early mornings, my family seems to have missed that memo. Luckily, those early risings mean I can count on my in-laws to help out after the kids’ bedtime, which gives me time for a peaceful sunset walk.
6. Be Cautious with Accommodations
Avoid letting your in-laws handle hotel bookings. Mine chose a condo with twin beds in every room, including ours—awkward! After two kids, my mother-in-law still pretends we don’t need a proper bed arrangement.
7. Rename Your Getaway
Instead of calling it a vacation, refer to it as a trip or visit. This small shift in terminology can significantly lighten your mental load, allowing you to look forward to your real vacation, which brings me to…
8. Plan a Post-Vacation Getaway
After countless trips where I’d exclaim, “I need a vacation after my vacation,” I now schedule a retreat for myself right after family trips. This year, I cleverly used the “work obligation” excuse to head home five days earlier than everyone else. Those quiet hours in the office will feel like a much-needed escape after a long stretch with the in-laws.
Navigating family vacations can be challenging, but with a bit of preparation and a sense of humor, you can make the experience enjoyable. And if you’re curious about enhancing your family planning journey, check out this excellent resource on intrauterine insemination.
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Summary
Family vacations can be a juggling act, especially when in-laws are involved. By setting clear expectations, communicating effectively, and planning ahead, you can create a more enjoyable experience for everyone. Don’t forget to carve out some personal time for yourself after the family trip!
Keyphrase: vacation with in-laws
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