Let’s be real—I’m not winning any fitness awards here. The last time I felt “bikini ready” was back when I dabbled in hot yoga and switched from beer to white wine. Still, I managed to shed those post-baby pounds faster after welcoming my second daughter, and I’ve mostly maintained that weight a year later. What’s my secret? I have a pint-sized personal trainer who lives with me. At just four years old, she’s about half my height, weighs around 30 pounds, and is relentless when it comes to keeping me active (we’re working on the “no” part).
The good news? Your neighborhood is likely filled with potential trainers just like mine. If you’re curious to see what it’s like to have one, ask a friend with a preschooler to borrow theirs for a day. Just be prepared for some lively antics as they zoom away like they’re on a game show.
Here’s a glimpse of what training sessions with my little coach look like:
- Warm-Up Stretching. My child has a unique approach to stretching, which involves the “crouching mama, hidden crayon” routine. To kick things off, I set up an art station on the coffee table. After a few minutes of coloring, a crayon inevitably rolls under the couch, triggering a mini crisis. I then find myself on all fours, stretching my arm beneath the couch, and attempting to retrieve it while contorting my body in ways I didn’t know were possible. This stretch is repeated for every color, enhancing flexibility and patience.
- Cardio Blast. For a true sweat session, a trip to the grocery store is in order. After casually asking if she needs a restroom break—spoiler alert: she won’t—we’ll trek to the frozen food aisle. As I bend down to grab a jug of milk, I notice she’s crossing her legs. I take a deep breath, grasp her hand, and pick up the pace, all while rifling through my purse for spare clothes. You can bet I break into a light jog to reach the restroom in time!
- Resistance Training. If you’re looking for an intense workout, plan an outing to a fun place like a pool or grandparents’ house, then announce it’s time to leave after a few hours of pure enjoyment. For bonus points, do this just before bedtime. Trust me—your endurance will be tested.
- Agility Drills. Throughout the day, it may seem like my trainer is engaged in quiet play, but she’s really designing an obstacle course for me. Hot wheels, foam blocks, and scattered pillows create a challenging landscape that keeps me agile. If you’re up for an extra challenge, try navigating this course while preparing dinner.
- Cool Down. Finally, once the day’s antics wind down, I find myself lying beside my freshly bathed daughter, who’s all cozy in her pajamas. As I read her favorite stories for the umpteenth time, I lean back, close my eyes, and hope for just a minute of peace. Spoiler alert: I usually wake up two hours later, courtesy of her elbow jabbing into my side.
Let me be honest: this routine isn’t for everyone. There are nights when I stand at her door, dreading what tomorrow’s workout will entail. And the dietary choices? Let’s just say they heavily favor grilled cheese, chocolate milk, and anything smothered in frosting.
Even so, I recommend this experience to nearly everyone I know. For more insights into home insemination, check out our article on Baby Maker at Home Insemination Kit and learn more about your options. Additionally, if you’re interested in the best home insemination tools, Cryobaby Home Intracervical Insemination Syringe Kit Combo is a great resource. For a comprehensive understanding of what to expect with your first IUI, this article is an excellent starting point.
Summary:
Having a child can feel like training for a marathon, with daily workouts that include stretching, cardio, and agility training, all while maintaining a sense of humor through the chaos. While it may not suit everyone, the experience is undeniably rewarding and helps keep me active. If you’re considering home insemination or parenting tips, plenty of resources are available to guide you.
Keyphrase: Personal Trainer Child
Tags: “home insemination kit”, “home insemination syringe”, “self insemination”