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Parenting
By Jordan Thompson
Updated: May 12, 2015
Originally Published: April 18, 2010
Today, as I strolled to my 3-year-old’s preschool, I found myself happily directed to a cubby overflowing with my son’s art projects. Trying to hide my eye roll as the teacher beamed at the collection of dried paint and crayon scribbles was quite the task. I offered her a smile that hopefully masked my true feelings, took the stack to my car, and once home, I promptly tossed the whole lot into the trash.
Am I a terrible parent? Absolutely not—just a practical one.
Those teachers send home every single piece of paper my kid has touched, eager to showcase the “creative” moments of the day. I often think, “Save your breath, my dear,” because the reason I send my child to preschool is to enjoy a few uninterrupted hours to myself. Frankly, they could be staging a battle royale on the playground, and I wouldn’t bat an eye, as long as I get to hit the gym and run errands in peace. And let’s be honest, I see very little artistry in these creations. I mean, what even is this supposed to be?
Consider this gem titled “Patrick’s Egg Painting.” Is it meant to resemble an egg? Was it painted with an egg? Is there any egg connection at all?
Then there’s the artwork that the teachers “assist” with. Look at this masterpiece, where my child, who can barely operate scissors, has somehow managed to perfectly cut out stars and tape them onto ribbons. The last time he got a hold of tape, it took me 20 minutes to untangle it from his hair!
And let’s not even start on the questionable shapes adorning our fridge.
I have saved a small box of memorabilia for each of my kids, just enough to give the impression that I’m the doting mother when future biographers come calling. I do cherish the Christmas ornaments featuring their little faces and those handprint crafts for Mother’s Day, but everything else? Straight to the trash. Little Patrick couldn’t care less. When I held up one of his colorful smudges recently and asked what it was, he merely glanced up from his monster truck demolition and shrugged before returning to his game. So yes, that one wasn’t worth saving.
Now that my daughter Grace is a bit older, I approach her creations more delicately. Thankfully, her subjects are now mostly recognizable. I sift through her work, offering the right amount of praise, before tucking it into a cabinet until it’s forgotten. Eventually, it looks like an episode of a hoarding show. When that happens, I do a clean sweep while she’s at school.
A few times, she’s discovered her artwork in the trash and burst into tears, prompting me to have a heart-to-heart. “Listen, sweetheart,” I tell her, “you are a fantastic artist, but I can’t keep everything you create. So, evaluate your work and if it’s truly your best, I’ll display it. If not, it has to go to make room for something new.” After some thought, she usually agrees that it’s not her best effort and happily tosses it away—score one for mom!
To honor her finest creations, I’ve set up a kids’ art wall to showcase their best pieces. We’re currently interpreting “best” very loosely with Patrick, to avoid overwhelming his future therapist.
Remember, as talented as your little Picassos may seem now, in 15 years, you’ll likely find yourself wondering what on earth that scribble represents and why it’s still taking up space in your home!
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Summary:
This lighthearted article explores the humorous struggles of dealing with the endless stream of children’s artwork that parents receive from schools. From questioning the artistic value of the creations to finding practical solutions for managing them, it delves into the balance between appreciating creativity and maintaining a clutter-free home.
Keyphrase: kids’ artwork management
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