Updated: Aug. 21, 2015
Originally Published: April 9, 2010
This morning, as I dropped my 5-year-old son off at school, he turned away from me, refusing to give me a kiss. He shrugged in that all-too-familiar “I’m too cool for that” way, and my heart sank. Is it happening already? I thought. Just like that, it felt as if he was signaling that the days of sweetness are quickly slipping away.
“I’m not ready for this,” I whispered to myself as I walked back to my car. I wish I could freeze time. Just a bit longer to indulge in laughter, play, and simply enjoy being together. I often joke with my kids, telling them to stay little, but they just giggle and remind me, “Mommy, we can’t! We’re growing!” I chuckle along, but inside, I’m aching. If only they understood how much I wish that could be true and how desperate I am for them to remain small.
When they do grow up, I’ll miss so many things. The sweet kisses and snuggles will vanish, as will those tiny hands that fit perfectly in mine. I’ll long for the scribbled drawings they proudly present, or the way my son offers me gifts of rocks and old cans of shaving cream as if they were precious jewels. I’ll miss the sound of their laughter and the joy of their playful voices, the simple pleasure of holding them close.
But let’s be honest; not everything about these years is a treasure. I won’t miss the tantrums, the endless whining, or the nightly battles over bedtime. And I definitely won’t miss the chaos that ensues when my son turns every single meal into a disaster. Yet, the warmth of his head resting on my shoulder and the sparkle in my daughter’s eyes when she tells me she’s happy is worth every bit of it.
Time, however, is relentless. Children grow, we age, and life keeps moving forward. I can’t pause their childhood or slow down the clock. All I can do is cherish each moment, savoring every hug and laugh. One day, when they’re all grown up, I hope they carry a piece of these memories with them, still feeling little in their hearts.
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