Two years ago, I traded the bustling streets of Brooklyn, New York, for the sunshine of Florida. The transition, combined with working remotely, significantly impacted my social life. Making connections with like-minded individuals isn’t easy when you’re new to a place and rarely venture out.
A few months in, I finally met someone I clicked with—Rachel, a bartender at a nearby wine bar. I would escape to her workplace every few weeks, hoping for some adult conversation. Our daughters were the same age—nearly two years old. I intended to arrange playdates, but our discussions often veered off course, leaving plans unmade.
Last year was particularly grim for gun incidents. It felt like every week brought a new heart-wrenching story. One tragic report involved a toddler who shot his mother with a firearm he discovered hidden under the couch while she was changing her infant sibling. Another recounted a child unintentionally taking a gun from his mother’s purse in a Walmart, leading to a fatal accident. After one such incident, a conversation at the wine bar shifted to guns. To my surprise, all five patrons—including Rachel—were gun owners. I was the lone exception.
When the topic turned to Rachel, I assumed she would be against gun ownership, a reflex shaped by years of living in a city where firearms are less common. To my shock, she revealed, “Oh yeah. We keep a loaded shotgun by our bed. My husband travels for work, and he’s really concerned about our safety while he’s away.”
A loaded shotgun in a house with a toddler? That moment made it clear: you can’t judge responsible gun ownership without asking the right questions.
Sure, there are responsible gun owners who safely secure their firearms and educate their children about their dangers. But there are others who do not take the same precautions. They aren’t necessarily bad people, but their homes may not be the safest places for children.
Inquiring whether a home has guns before a playdate is perfectly reasonable. An article in The Washington Post featured a mother who regularly asks this question, sparking a wave of responses defending Second Amendment rights and dismissing her concerns by citing the higher prevalence of car accidents or drownings. Some criticized her for not being prepared to defend her family against potential threats.
Parents have every right to prioritize their children’s safety and ask important questions. If you feel uncomfortable with someone asking about firearms in your home, that’s your prerogative. However, it might be best for both parties to reconsider the playdate. After all, I wouldn’t want to arrange one with a parent who isn’t forthcoming about something so crucial.
Statistics reveal that 40% of gun owners with children do not store their weapons securely. A report from 20/20 consistently showed that many parents place too much faith in their children’s self-control around firearms. Each year, nearly 1,500 children die due to accidental shootings—a grim statistic exacerbated by the lack of official record-keeping on gun safety and children, thanks to organizations like the NRA.
Given these facts, it’s understandable for parents to be alarmed. If you find questions about gun ownership intrusive, that’s valid too. Just know that playdates can happen elsewhere.
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In summary, asking about gun ownership before a playdate is a reasonable step for any parent concerned about their child’s safety. With alarming statistics surrounding accidental shootings, open communication is essential for ensuring a safe environment for children.
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