Updated: May 14, 2016
Originally Published: March 20, 2010
As I prepare for my first day at a new job, I’ve meticulously chosen my outfit, packed a lunch that I hope will impress, and even set aside my favorite mug for that all-important caffeine fix. I’ve cleaned out my car, making sure my commute will be as smooth as possible. I am beyond ready for this.
Or am I?
After three and a half years of being a stay-at-home mom, I have rediscovered who I am. I’ve unearthed some hidden talents, like weaving enchanting bedtime tales and mastering the art of organization. I’ve honed my cooking skills and rekindled my passion for writing. I’ve learned to make the most of what I have, and I can even go for days on just half a tank of gas. Starting a blog was just one of my many accomplishments during this time. I’ve embraced the freedom of not needing makeup and realized that I can indeed survive three days without a shower. I’ve become quite resourceful.
But now it’s time for a change. I’m stepping back into the exhilarating yet intimidating realm of employment outside of the home. I’ve done this before, so I know I can do it again. This time, however, my understanding of the ups and downs of being a working mom is much more profound.
Pros:
- At work, I will be addressed by my actual name—not mommy, ma, or any variation thereof.
- My colleagues are responsible for their own lunches, tying their shoes, and putting on their own coats.
- I won’t have to attend to anyone’s bathroom needs for eight hours a day, five days a week.
- The bathroom door will remain unbanged upon while I’m inside.
- I can enjoy my favorite music during my daily drives.
- No more cartoons blaring in the background.
- Adult conversations won’t be interrupted by calls for crayons or wall art.
- I can enjoy my computer without sharing it for Nick Jr. games.
- I won’t be the one in charge.
Cons:
- Workplace etiquette prohibits farting, belching, and scratching.
- Yoga pants and pajamas won’t cut it as professional attire.
- Sneaking chocolate in the closet will be frowned upon (though it could be a pro).
- A bra will be a daily requirement for at least eight hours.
- Naps are no longer an option.
- Coffee swishes are no substitute for mouthwash.
- I can’t nibble on leftovers from coworkers’ plates.
- I can’t settle disputes with “because I said so!”
- No one earns a “time-out” for annoying me.
- Rainy days and chilly mornings will require me to leave the house.
- I will miss my little ones.
- And once again, I’m not the boss.
To all the hardworking moms out there: I am excited to join the ranks of the exhausted, caffeine-fueled warriors in the professional world. Send your good vibes my way!
To my fellow stay-at-home moms: Keep holding down the fort. I admire the monumental effort you put in every single day. Wear your yoga pants with pride for me.
If you’re interested in exploring more about at-home options, check out our post on the home insemination kit for insights. Additionally, if you’re looking for ways to enhance fertility, this fertility booster for men is a great resource. For more information on pregnancy and related topics, visit Healthline’s pregnancy section.
In summary, embarking on this new journey is both thrilling and daunting. But with the skills I’ve gained as a mom, I feel equipped to tackle whatever comes my way.
Keyphrase: first day at work
Tags: “home insemination kit”, “home insemination syringe”, “self insemination”