At the tender age of two, our son is a chatterbox, especially in the comfort of our home. He can ramble for a good two minutes, stringing together a multitude of thoughts that seem random yet fascinating. I manage to catch bits and pieces of his words, enough to grasp the essence of his musings and respond with enthusiasm.
“Oh, really?”
“Is that so?”
“Mmmm-hmmm.”
With each passing day, my husband and I are increasingly aware of how much our little one absorbs from his surroundings, echoing back our words like a lively, featherless parrot. In light of this, I’ve been on a mission to swap out my usual expletives for more family-friendly alternatives. Silly phrases like “Aw, shucks” and “shoot” have become my go-to expressions, successfully replacing some of the more colorful language I might have used before. My son has taken a particular liking to my enthusiastic exclamation of “Mother of PEARL,” which sends him into fits of giggles.
Just a few nights ago, we were all gathered around the dinner table, and my husband was recounting his recent success in metal recycling.
“Do you remember all the fuss you made about those cans I saved from the garage?” he asked.
“Mmmmm-hmmm,” I replied, dishing out Brussels sprouts, only to be interrupted by our son’s protest: “Noooo bussel spouts!”
I recalled the heaps of aluminum cluttering our once-spotless garage—sure, it may have been a bit messy already, but I still wasn’t thrilled about the cans taking up space in my son’s wooden Radio Flyer wagon.
“I scored fourteen dollars from those bags, plus another seven bucks for the old radiator!” he continued.
“Seven bucks, seven bucks!” our toddler joyfully chanted, adding “four times” and other puzzling phrases into his growing vocabulary.
Reflecting on my childhood, I remember how my Italian grandmother would teach my sister and me amusing phrases in her melodious dialect, ranging from “I’m single with two kids” to the more colorful “F you and your whole family.” My mother would chuckle, reminding us that we’d have to explain those phrases later. I still recall how to express “large [male genital part]” in Sicilian slang, which would send my grandmother into fits of laughter. Knowing how to say “I’ll break your face” in Sicilian also has its charm, with that delightful mafia flair.
My husband, whose family lineage is steeped in proper English decorum and genteel Texan values, is often horrified when I share these quirky phrases. He simply cannot comprehend the idea of discussing such matters with our son. But someday, I’ll share those stories with my little parrot when he’s old enough to understand, and we’ll share a laugh just like I did with my family.
Just a few weeks ago, during a FaceTime chat with my sister and her three daughters, she excitedly revealed the color of her new front door: Black Fox. Our toddler chimed in with “black fox,” which, when pronounced with a British accent, sounded distinctly like a certain four-letter word.
Go ahead, try saying it out loud.
My sister and I couldn’t stop laughing, especially when our son leaned in close to the camera to say it. My husband, however, warned me that what’s amusing now might not be so funny later. He’s right, of course. Just like I’m not supposed to laugh at my son’s little gas or burps; nonetheless, we both find it hilarious while my husband watches in disapproval.
We’ll leave it to his kindergarten teacher to set him straight later on.
For more insights into parenting and fertility, check out this excellent resource on IVF and fertility preservation from the Cleveland Clinic. And if you’re on your own journey towards parenthood, you might find helpful tips in our guide on home insemination kits.
Summary:
In this lighthearted reflection on parenting, Emily Harper shares the delightful experiences of her two-year-old son’s language development, the amusing phrases learned from her family, and the joys and challenges of navigating childhood antics. As they embrace the humor in everyday moments, Emily and her husband prepare for the future while cherishing their little one’s unique expressions.
Keyphrase: parenting humor
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