Letting Go: The Challenge of Raising Teens

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As I navigate life with my two nearly 15-year-olds, I can’t help but reflect on the advice I received during their childhood: “Little kids, little problems. Big kids, big problems.” Back then, I dismissed it as nonsense, imagining a future where I could dash to the store without juggling car seats. I dreamt of the day they’d be able to cut their own food and actually eat it, allowing me to enjoy my dinner in peace.

I pictured delightful after-school conversations in my immaculate kitchen, with my kids and their friends seamlessly blending into responsible young adults. I couldn’t wait for that seemingly easy phase.

Now, I must admit I was mistaken. Parenting teenagers is far from simple. It forces you to reevaluate everything you thought you understood about child-rearing. You might find yourself pondering where you went astray in their formative years and questioning your very decision to become a parent.

And let’s not forget the perplexing transformation of your once-adorable boy who now has an odor that could knock you off your feet, or your sweet little girl who now regards you with a disdain usually reserved for those who can pull off perfect shoes.

There are no universal rules for raising teens. Each one is a unique individual navigating the complexities of their world. Your role? To be present when they desire your company.

My Uncle Rob, who raised several children, once told me that being around is key. This way, when your teenagers feel like talking, they’ll come to you instead of confiding in their friends—who, let’s face it, tend to make questionable choices.

When you have teenagers, the toughest yet most vital lesson is learning to let go. If they want to see a movie with their friends, you have to allow it. If they wish to walk to the soccer field alone or ride in a car driven by another teen, you have to take a deep breath and let it happen.

Sure, they might behave foolishly at the cinema or use language that would make you cringe. They might even drive recklessly without a seatbelt. But there’s a chance they won’t.

Ultimately, you can only hope that you’ve instilled enough love and wisdom for them to stand strong against peer pressure and make smart, kind choices.

There will be moments when your confidence wavers. If you’re anything like me, you’ll spend countless hours worrying, crying, and reading parenting blogs for reassurance. But then, one day, your son might choose to accompany you to church dressed in clothes you would have picked—though his pants may sag a little too low. He might even suggest lighting a candle for your sick dog. You’ll notice the adults around you smiling at your kids, recognizing their good manners despite the eye rolls you endure daily.

Try not to cry; it will only embarrass them.

In conclusion, raising teenagers is a complex journey filled with challenges and moments of unexpected joy. If you’re interested in exploring topics related to family and parenting, check out our insightful posts on home insemination, such as this one and this one, or refer to this excellent resource for more information.

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