The clock strikes 3 a.m. and your baby decides it’s party time. At 4 a.m., your toddler turns the bed into a trampoline. By the time dawn breaks, you’ve been up so many times you could host a coffee shop in the bags under your eyes. As the sun rises, the kids are starting to stir, and you find yourself facing the reality of parenting once again. You’re sleep-deprived and could really use a nap. But alas, there’s no retreating to bed. It’s time to parent.
Get Comfortable
First, get comfortable. Slip into some yoga pants and a soft T-shirt. A supportive sleep bra is also a must to minimize discomfort. Let’s be honest—today is not about fashion; it’s about survival.
Fuel Up
Next, it’s time for coffee. While it brews, grab a quick bite—perhaps a banana or some Cheerios. You’ll need the energy. Make sure to balance your caffeine intake with snacks; after all, we don’t want you collapsing from an empty stomach.
Breakfast Time
And just like that, the kids are awake. Prepare a simple “picnic” breakfast in front of the TV. Think muffins or toast—something that won’t make a mess. If you have a dog, feel free to serve them cereal; it’s a win-win situation. Don’t forget drinks—water is your best bet for easy cleanup.
Screen Time Before 9 a.m.
Here’s a solid rule for days like this: no parenting before 9 a.m. Relish two guilt-free hours of screen time. Fire up Netflix and let them enjoy some episodes of Puffin Rock or The Magic School Bus while you sip your coffee and grab a few moments of shut-eye. If they try to cuddle with you, redirect them to the couch or suggest they make a pillow fort on the floor. Sure, you’ll have to clean it up later, but sleep is priceless.
Engagement Time
By 9 a.m., it’s time to engage, but keep it minimal. Break out crayons and stickers. Set them up in the living room and sneak in more rest while they create. You’ll be interrupted frequently, but just keep the compliments flowing: “What a fantastic pirate ship! Tell me more!” You might not know what you’re looking at, but kids love the attention.
Storytime and Free Play
This period of relative peace could last anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour and a half. When they seem done, it’s time to shift gears. Fill your coffee cup and announce storytime. They’ll bring you books to read aloud, and you can enjoy their rapt attention while keeping your caffeine levels high.
Now, let’s initiate free play. Start with a hibernating bears theme. When that fizzles out, try the Quiet Game, but only if there’s a reward involved—like a marshmallow. If that fails, gently encourage them to play independently. Tune out the chaos and enjoy another cup of coffee.
Lunch Time
For lunch, keep it simple: peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. This classic combo is nutritious and filling, helping to stave off snack requests for a bit. Serve them at the table, because peanut butter is messy business.
Movie Theater Experience
Now it’s time to set up a movie theater experience. Pop some popcorn, dim the lights, and pile up blankets and pillows for comfort. Choose a movie with some length—80 minutes is just not going to cut it. A double feature might be in order, and no one will judge you for a little extra downtime.
Creative Time
After the movie, time for some watercolor painting! Set up at the dining table while you sip coffee and admire their artistry. See? You’re nurturing creativity! Just make sure to prepare for cleanup afterward.
Cleanup Time
As the day winds down, muster the energy for the cleanup song. Because let’s be real, it’s a necessary evil. Get those kids to help tidy up their mess. You might have to lean against the wall for support, but a little encouragement can go a long way.
Dinner and Wind Down
Dinner is pasta night! Turn on the TV while you cook and embrace another picnic vibe. Keep the screen on until bedtime. After the kids are settled, you can choose to shower or head straight to bed. Spoiler alert: you’ll probably pick sleep.
Celebrate your survival! Tomorrow is another day.