Recently, I engaged in a conversation with a group of parents preparing to send their teenagers off to college this fall. We touched on topics like the empty nest syndrome, the stress of selecting a major, and the daunting financial responsibility it entails. As someone who still has a few years before my eldest heads off to college, these discussions have been quite enlightening.
One parent shared that her child plans to enroll as an undecided major. Honestly, I found that hard to believe. Reflecting on my own experiences at 18, I can’t fathom telling my parents, “I’m not sure what I want to do—I’ll figure it out in my cozy dorm.” Sure, I always aspired to become a nurse, which made my choice easier, especially knowing my parents had two more children to support through college. I was determined to finish on time, understanding that it wasn’t solely about my aspirations.
As I prepare for the emotional rollercoaster of dropping my son off at his dorm, I am acutely aware of the financial commitment involved in obtaining a degree. Our daughter will follow suit in a few years, which means we could either purchase a Tesla each year for eight years or fund two college educations. While I’d love the Teslas, being a responsible adult means prioritizing my children’s educational needs.
My husband and I established college savings accounts almost immediately after our kids were born. We decided early on that we would cover their higher education expenses, just as our families supported us through college. Alongside diligent saving, we’ve invested any financial gifts our children received since birth. Thankfully, our efforts have led to a healthy growth in their college funds.
However, there’s a catch: they must have a clear plan for their future before I hand over the funds. I refuse to pay for my child to “find himself” amidst frat parties and weekend getaways. My husband and I have worked too hard saving for the past 13 years to allow an uncertain teenager to squander it all.
When I vent this to friends, they chuckle, reminding me of the overzealous father in the film Some Kind of Wonderful, who meticulously planned his son’s future against his wishes. While the son ultimately spends his college fund on diamond earrings for a date, I assure you, I’m not that parent. I’m not imposing a specific career path on my kids, nor will I live vicariously through them. While I have the means to support their education, I won’t enable irresponsibility.
Many young people today are permitted to “find themselves” without being held accountable. This trend has contributed to a sense of entitlement among the younger generation. My children have no inherent right to my financial support, just as I have no right to dictate their career choices. It’s essential for both sides to collaborate to ensure a meaningful education that translates to real-world success.
As college approaches, we will guide our children in exploring their identities well before they start utilizing our hard-earned money. We will engage in ongoing discussions about their aspirations, preferred locations, and what brings them happiness. I’ll take them on campus visits and share tales from my own college days.
I’ll try to hold back tears when assisting him with unpacking in that tiny, expensive dorm room. And while I might shed a few tears, I promise it’ll be because I’ll miss him—not because a Tesla is off the table. Mostly.
In Summary
While funding a college education is a significant commitment, it should come with the expectation that students have a clear vision of their future. Parents and children must work together to ensure this investment leads to a purposeful and fulfilling educational experience.
Keyphrase: college education expectations
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