Ah, the holiday season. A time often filled with stress, uncomfortable family obligations, and awkward encounters with relatives you only see once a year. You might dread the forced cheer and the prospect of enduring your overly critical cousin who seems to have a knack for turning your life choices into fodder for her snide remarks. While the thought of skipping the festivities altogether may seem appealing, I implore you to reconsider. The notion that you would be happier by spending Christmas solo is, unfortunately, misguided.
I once believed I was immune to the profound sadness that can accompany a solitary Christmas. After all, I’m not Christian and often relish my own company—I’ve even felt a wave of relief when plans have fallen through. However, the holiday season is steeped in societal norms of togetherness—think carolers harmonizing, mistletoe moments, and family gatherings bursting at the seams. Choosing to spend the day alone can feel like a stark betrayal of an unspoken social agreement that we should be surrounded by others during this time.
The Best Laid Plans
Due to my siblings’ commitments to their partners’ families, my own family tends to celebrate Christmas early, usually weeks ahead of December 25th. The year I opted to spend Christmas alone, our family gathering had already taken place. When the actual holiday arrived, I was excited about a few days of self-indulgence. I turned down invitations from friends for festive dinners and movie outings, determined to embrace a luxurious staycation filled with late mornings, books, and binge-watching my favorite shows.
On Christmas morning, while families nestled around their trees, I went for a jog in the biting cold. The park was eerily deserted, save for a homeless man feeding stray cats. I tried to convince myself how fortunate I was to have this quiet morning to myself, while everyone else was likely trapped indoors with holiday chaos.
The Loneliness Sets In
But rather than feeling fortunate, I quickly felt like an outsider. With shops closed and streets devoid of life, I was struck by the reality of my solitude. The phone remained silent, and I knew there wouldn’t be any emails or messages to distract me as everyone I knew was preoccupied with their holiday celebrations.
After a leisurely shower, I faced an awkward choice: dress up for no one or succumb to the gloom of pajamas at noon. I settled for what I convinced myself were “cozy clothes,” but they were really just pajamas without holes. I turned on the radio, only to be met with a marathon of holiday music, which only deepened my sense of isolation.
By the time lunch rolled around, my meager meal consisted of cottage cheese and water. The winter twilight set in at around 2 p.m., casting a gray hue over my apartment. I attempted to read, but the stillness felt suffocating, reminiscent of sick days spent at home, watching the dust float in slanted sunlight. I was alone when being home wasn’t meant to be.
It Was All a Terrible Idea
By nightfall, I broke down and called my friend Tara. “Get dressed,” she insisted. “We’re going out.” Over a plate of Chinese food, I recounted my day—the biting loneliness, the chilling quiet of a nearly deserted city, and how all my grand plans had crumbled.
“You can’t just check out of the holidays,” Tara stated firmly. “But you should be able to enjoy a day alone without it feeling like a descent into eternal loneliness,” I replied. “In theory, yes,” she countered, “but in practice, opting out of the holidays isn’t wise.”
While it’s entirely possible for some to enjoy a day of solitude during Christmas, for those of us accustomed to the holiday being a communal event filled with joy, laughter, and shared experiences, attempting to spend the day alone can be a regrettable choice.
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Summary
Spending Christmas alone may seem like a good idea at first, but the reality can be far more challenging. The societal expectations of togetherness during the holidays can magnify feelings of isolation and loneliness. While some might find enjoyment in solitude, many will discover that opting out of communal celebrations can lead to unexpected sadness.
Keyphrase: Christmas alone
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