I recently hosted a dinner party, a delightful return to a tradition I had abandoned after my marriage ended. Back then, the thought of entertaining felt overwhelming; I often found myself lamenting the loss of companionship. I felt adrift, unloved, and, at times, like a pariah among my married friends. The shift from being invited to parties to standing alone in a crowd of couples can be jarring.
But when I observed the joy of a young couple I had helped reconnect—she was two decades younger than me, and he was a bright-eyed CEO I once interviewed—I felt inspired. Their rekindled romance was the perfect motivation to bring my friends together for a meal. It was time to act with purpose rather than waiting for life to unfold.
My late father always said, “You make your own luck.” As a younger version of myself, I dismissed this as nonsense. Luck seemed like a random occurrence, something bestowed upon the fortunate. Yet, as I navigated life’s ups and downs, I began to understand that luck alone isn’t enough; intention is what truly shapes our experiences.
That evening, as I looked around the table, I was struck by the vibrant mix of personalities. Among my guests was the man I had gone on my first blind date with in over two decades. The mere act of putting myself out there after my marriage took immense bravery. I had spent days crafting the most awkward text, inviting him for a hike. Yet, despite my nerves, we talked for hours, discovering common ground in our shared experiences of heartache. Eight months later, he has become my closest confidant, teaching me invaluable lessons about handling life’s unpredictability, like the mantra: “Don’t just do something, stand there.”
This idea of intentionality resonated with me, especially as I faced the reactions of friends and family regarding my new single life. It was often challenging, but I learned that choosing not to react can be a powerful form of intention.
My dinner included a couple I had introduced, along with new friends from previous gatherings. I even took the bold step of reaching out to a woman I liked, expressing my desire for friendship. This kind of openness, especially at 49, requires a lot of courage, but it often yields flattery and connection.
As laughter filled the air, I experienced one of those rare moments of clarity and gratitude for my life, with all its imperfections. I felt thankful, even for the chaos, as it nudged me back into vulnerability, something I had lost in the cocoon of marriage.
Then, just as the warmth of the evening enveloped us, the sound of shattering glass interrupted our revelry. My 8-year-old had attempted an ill-fated leap from the top bunk, causing an explosion of toys and broken figurines across the floor. Memories flooded back to a similar mishap with a shelf in my old kitchen—the one that had collapsed right when I realized I couldn’t endure my marriage any longer.
“It’s fine,” I reassured him. “At least you’re unhurt. We can clean this up after dinner.” My blind-date-turned-best-friend, handy with tools, took the initiative to fix the shelf. He worked diligently with toothpicks and glue, transforming a broken situation into something functional again.
It amazed me how something so simple could restore order. We had set out to fix just one small piece of chaos, and we succeeded. The rest could wait for another day.
In reflecting on that night, I realized that even amidst the mess, moments of genuine connection and intention can create something beautiful.
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Summary:
Hosting a dinner party after becoming divorced sparked a realization about the importance of intention in creating one’s luck. Through reconnecting with friends and embracing vulnerability, I discovered the power of connection and the beauty that can emerge from chaos.
Keyphrase: Embracing independence after divorce
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