Parenting Insights
By: Jessica Collins
Updated: Jan. 24, 2017
Originally Published: March 10, 2005
I first watched Stand By Me at age 12 on a dusty VHS tape with my best friend. Back then, I felt a connection with those boys; they seemed to have life figured out. And let’s be honest—River Phoenix was quite the heartthrob. The film was a delightful mix of drama, angst, and nostalgia. Not to mention the unforgettable vomit scene that had the teenage audience in stitches.
Fast forward three decades (can you believe it?!), I recently rewatched the film with my son, and I spent the whole time wearing a puzzled expression. My main thought? Where on earth were the parents of these kids?
Now, I can excuse Gordie’s parents a bit; they were grappling with the loss of their son Denny and likely couldn’t muster the energy for much beyond providing meals. Chris and Teddy’s fathers? Well, let’s just say they were less than ideal. But what about Vern? He seemed to come from a relatively stable home. Seriously, where was Mrs. Tessio when Vern dashed out the door? Couldn’t she have at least made them some sandwiches for their adventure?
Moreover, where were the adults in Castle Rock? The shopkeepers? The general public? Aside from a few flashbacks and one irate junkyard owner, the town felt like a wild, lawless land ruled by Ace Merrill, a teenage tyrant.
Let’s break this down further, shall we?
A Two-Day Wilderness Adventure with Just 9 Cents for Food
In today’s world of helicopter parenting, four 12-year-olds roaming the woods with less than a quarter would surely raise red flags. Didn’t anyone in Castle Rock notice these boys, their backpacks, and their determination? Ray Brower was missing, presumed dead, and none of the parents seemed concerned that their kids weren’t safely tucked into bed. Come on, Mr. and Mrs. Tessio!
Mailbox Baseball, Anyone?
As a preteen, Ace’s rebellious behavior seemed thrilling. But now, as a responsible adult, I realize the financial implications of mailbox destruction. Watching Ace and his crew vandalize property makes me cringe for the poor mailman and the residents who likely missed out on their catalogs. Someone should have called the police on those ruffians!
Bullying Rampant
Every scene in Stand By Me features some boy beating up another. The town appears to be under the thumb of a band of teenage delinquents who terrorize the younger kids. When Ace shoved Chris to the ground, not a single adult intervened. It’s as if the grown-ups of Castle Rock were locked away while Ace and his gang carried out their reign of terror.
Dangerous Acts of Recklessness
Another shocking realization I had while watching was how these kids seemed to have a death wish. Ace and his crew carved tattoos into their arms with unclean razors. Gordie and his friends nearly succumbed to leeches. Ace strutted around with a switchblade, and I’m pretty sure he’s courting health problems with his smoking habit. And let’s not even get started on the gun scene. Sure, a bully getting what’s coming to him is satisfying, but really, Castle Rock adults, you dropped the ball on protecting these kids.
As a 12-year-old, I wondered if I’d ever have a crazy story to share in the future. Would my best friend and I drift apart like Gordie and Chris? Would I ever be cool enough to embark on a secret adventure? Mostly, I just wanted to date Wil Wheaton.
Now, with my own set of college adventures and a few secrets my parents still don’t know about, I look back nostalgically at the days when I could enjoy a movie through the lens of a carefree teen rather than a responsible parent. And yes, I still wish I could date Wil Wheaton.
But more importantly, I’ve come to realize that friendships like those I had at 12 are rare. Does anyone have that kind of connection anymore?
This article was originally published on March 10, 2005.
In summary, Stand By Me is a nostalgic exploration of childhood, but its glaring absence of parental oversight raises questions about responsibility and community involvement.
Keyphrase: Where were the parents in Stand By Me
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