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- Am I Raising a Little Josie Grossie?
by Mia Thompson
Updated: Aug. 2, 2016
Originally Published: Jan. 31, 2005
For those unfamiliar with the reference, “Josie Grossie” was a character played by Drew Barrymore in the film Never Been Kissed. In high school, Josie faced the typical awkward stage, marked by greasy, unkempt hair, braces that slightly altered her speech, questionable fashion choices, and a gentle spirit.
The resemblance between my 10-year-old daughter, Lily, and Josie Grossie is astonishing. Lily is a bright, charming girl with a heart of gold, yet she struggles mightily with her personal hygiene and social graces. Her new retainer comes with a lisp that only deepens the comparison. I attribute much of this to her spirited nature and ADHD.
Every mealtime proves to be an adventure. She tackles her dinner like a chipmunk, leaving remnants of food tangled in her hair. Her outfit choices are often whimsical, reminiscent of Andie from Pretty in Pink. Since she was three, her nose has been an ongoing issue—a leaky faucet despite numerous allergy tests and remedies. We remind her to shower regularly, and when I ask if she has washed her hair and body, the answer is often, “I forgot.” After her fifth-grade teacher suggested she use deodorant, showering has become a priority, but combing her hair is a battle, not to mention the nightly struggle over brushing her teeth. The list of hygiene-related challenges seems endless.
On an emotional level, Lily mirrors Josie Grossie as well. While she is friendly, her shyness can be painfully awkward. She has a tender and naive heart, maintaining only a small circle of close friends. I can easily envision her being swayed by a not-so-nice crowd during high school, pouring her heart into a plea for acceptance only to be set up for a cruel prank. I can picture her waiting on the porch, vulnerable to the teenage heartbreak of egg-throwing antics.
Naturally, I dread this potential future for her. I know I might be worrying about scenarios that may never unfold, but I wish to shield her from the unkind treatment Josie Grossie endured. I want Lily to be confident, to have friends, and to experience happiness without the weight of societal expectations. Just one nasty comment can deeply wound a child’s spirit and shatter their self-esteem.
I realize I’m not alone in this. I hear stories from other mothers wrestling with similar issues as they try to encourage their daughters to attend to hygiene. Perhaps we should form a club called “Moms of Messy Misses,” where we can share our experiences of raising our quirky girls. We would laugh, cry, and exchange tips on navigating the delightful chaos of parenting. Together, we’d find solace in knowing that we’re not isolated in a world quick to judge those who don’t fit the mold.
It’s important to highlight that I remind Lily daily about the significance of hygiene and manners. We explain how good manners help forge friendships and that proper hygiene is essential for health. Yet, what others might not grasp is that her mind can be as disorganized as her appearance. One minute she’s focused on hygiene, and the next, she’s lost in thoughts about how amusing it would be to see purple monkeys or planning her birthday party, completely forgetting about cleanliness.
Some have advised me to let her navigate the path of Josie Grossie, allowing natural consequences to teach her. We’ve tried this approach, but it’s only resulted in tears after she’s faced ridicule for spilling her drink or having food on her face. We discuss these experiences, and I see her understanding and ready to change. She seems poised to declare, “I’m not Josie Grossie anymore!” Yet the next day, it’s as if we’re stuck in a time loop—milk and cereal in her hair as she gets ready for school.
But what if my daughter is more like Jan? Does that mean she deserves to be mistreated by the Marcias of the world? Absolutely not. I will continue to emphasize the importance of cleanliness and etiquette. Fellow parents, it’s our responsibility to teach our kids compassion and support, rather than shame. If my daughter appears disheveled, let’s encourage the other kids to lend a hand instead of standing by while they ridicule her. They can nurture kindness instead of cruelty; bullying doesn’t build resilience, and shaming won’t correct behavior. She’s still a child, and she deserves understanding.
I know I can’t expect the world to change. Lily is bright, kind, and beautiful, and I feel incredibly fortunate to have her. If she does face the treatment reserved for Josie Grossie, I will be there to help her weather the storm of criticism and to rebuild her confidence. Regardless of whether she outgrows her messy habits, I believe she will flourish into a remarkable woman capable of achieving wonderful things.
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Summary: This article reflects on the challenges of parenting a child who struggles with hygiene and social awkwardness, drawing parallels to the character Josie Grossie from Never Been Kissed. It emphasizes the importance of nurturing kindness in children rather than promoting judgment and shame. The author expresses a desire for her daughter to have confidence and happiness while navigating the complexities of growing up.
Keyphrase: Raising a child with hygiene challenges
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