Living with a chronic illness can be a relentless battle. I manage a disease that has no cure, and my daily routine revolves around monitoring my blood sugar levels, administering insulin, and meticulously counting the carbohydrates in every meal I consume. It’s a tiring existence, to say the least.
When I’m not managing my blood sugar, I’m often on the phone with my insurance company, trying to contest yet another exorbitant medical bill. If I’m not injecting insulin to remedy a high blood sugar reading, I’m analyzing the effects of my morning workout and how it might influence my condition later in the day. And if I’m not calculating the carbs in my meal—like that slice of pizza—I’m faced with well-meaning inquiries from others about whether I should even be indulging in it at all.
The stakes are high. If I fail to keep my blood sugar levels in check, I risk long-term complications like blindness, amputations, kidney failure, heart problems, and a host of other serious health issues. It’s a heavy burden to bear, knowing that every decision I make—from sleep habits to diet to exercise—could mean the difference between life and death.
At first glance, you might not guess that I have Type 1 diabetes. I look like any other busy mom—hair in a messy bun, yoga pants, and a cup of coffee in hand—juggling kids, chores, and my writing career. My husband comes home at six, and we dive into the evening chaos, collapsing on the couch at nine, if we’re fortunate, to watch some mindless TV. On the surface, I appear to be just like everyone else.
However, when people discover my condition—whether from noticing my insulin pump or seeing me check my blood sugar—I am often met with predictable reactions. I hear tales of relatives who suffered dire consequences due to their own health mismanagement. I get asked if I can just take pills instead of managing insulin. Some express disbelief at how I can inject myself, while others question my dietary choices or assume I must avoid sugar entirely. I have acquaintances who pitch me on various supplements or treatments, insisting they have the solution to my challenges. One person even told me, “At least it’s not cancer!”
The reality is, controlling my blood sugar is as complex as trying to prevent a toddler from having a tantrum. Since my pancreas no longer produces insulin, I have to do its job around the clock, every single day.
The stress that comes with managing a chronic illness is unlike anything I’ve ever encountered. It’s a constant cycle of worry, second-guessing, and frustration. Yet, it has also instilled in me a sense of resilience, bravery, and determination. I’ve learned that balance takes on a new meaning when you’re fighting for your health daily.
As someone living with diabetes, there are certain things I don’t need. I don’t want those “great-tasting, sugar-free” drink mixes you’re trying to sell me; they don’t cure my condition. I don’t need to hear about your neighbor’s unfortunate health outcomes or the miracle cure that worked for someone else. And please, don’t lean in and ask, “Are you OK?” Such remarks only serve as reminders of my illness and make me feel inadequate.
What I do need is support. When I was first diagnosed, a friend named Melissa visited me in the hospital. Rather than ask how I was doing—something that was painfully obvious—she simply sat at my bedside and rubbed my feet. Her gesture spoke volumes: she cared, she was present, and she didn’t expect anything in return.
If you have a friend like me, someone navigating a chronic illness, find your own way to show support. Whether it’s surprising them with coffee on a tough day or sending a text to remind them of their strength, those small acts can make a significant impact. Ask them, “What can I do to brighten your day?” and then follow through.
So, instead of wasting energy feeling sorry for me, stand beside me, fight with me, and hey, send me coffee.
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Summary
Living with a chronic illness is a daily challenge that comes with its own set of complexities. While well-meaning friends may offer advice or express sympathy, what truly matters is understanding and support. A small gesture can mean the world to someone navigating these challenges.
Keyphrase: Living with chronic illness
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