When I faced intense postpartum depression and anxiety, my mind was a whirlwind of uncontrollable thoughts. I found myself consumed by irrational fears—worrying that my baby might get hurt or that my van would crash. I even pondered the survival of my children in a nuclear disaster. Amidst this chaos, I questioned my capabilities as a mother and feared that my anxiety was negatively impacting my children.
Fortunately, my partner, Alex, was a source of support. He guided me to a psychiatrist who prescribed the necessary medication for my condition. This intervention was beneficial. Alex also made sure I had the chance to rest and provided nutritious meals, which contributed to my recovery. He took care of the kids whenever he could, allowing me some much-needed space. One thing he wisely refrained from saying during this tumultuous time was telling me to “get over it.”
A similar dynamic unfolded when I spoke about the childhood abuse I endured. I shared how it shaped my life and continues to impact my self-image decades later. Even after all this time, the pain is still present, making it all too easy for others to suggest that I should simply “move on.” However, that approach is misguided.
Disappointments, however trivial they may seem—like my child throwing a tantrum in a store or a payment rejection at a restaurant—do not disappear because someone says “get over it.” Such comments do nothing to alleviate my feelings; instead, they often exacerbate my frustration. The reality is, no one has the right to dictate how another person should feel. Emotions aren’t a faucet that can be turned off at will; they must be experienced and processed.
If it were as simple as just “getting over it,” I assure you, people would do so willingly. Nobody desires to dwell in negativity, whether it’s sadness, anger, or grief. The most effective way to navigate these emotions is to confront them, allowing them to ebb and flow until they eventually subside.
Saying “get over it” undermines the complexity of human emotions. It implies that someone’s struggles with their feelings are a sign of weakness, which is both disrespectful and untrue. Emotions are a natural part of being human; labeling them as a flaw is insensitive. When someone hears “get over it,” they may feel unheard and dismissed. A more empathetic response would be acknowledging their feelings, saying something like, “I’m sorry you’re feeling this way” or “I wish things were different for you,” demonstrating understanding and support.
A dismissive “get over it” conveys that someone’s feelings are a burden to you, which can be hurtful and belittling. It shifts the focus away from their experience and places undue emphasis on your discomfort. This dynamic is unfair; when someone is hurting, their emotions should take precedence, not the inconvenience they may cause you.
You cannot simply instruct someone to “get over it,” whether it pertains to mental health challenges, the loss of a pet, a difficult day, or other life events. Such statements are minimizing, rude, and lacking in compassion. Ultimately, telling someone to just “move on” reveals a lack of empathy that can cause further harm.
If you find yourself at a loss for what to say in these moments, consider more compassionate alternatives. Phrases like, “I’m here for you” or “What can I do to help?” are far more constructive and supportive.
For those navigating the complexities of motherhood and emotional health, resources like CDC’s pregnancy information can be invaluable. If you’re considering home insemination, explore the CryoBaby at-home insemination kit for guidance. Additionally, for tools related to self-insemination, check out the BabyMaker home intracervical insemination syringe kit combo, a trusted resource in this field.
In conclusion, instead of telling someone to “get over it,” strive to understand and validate their feelings. This approach fosters deeper connections and allows individuals to process their emotions in a healthy way.
Keyphrase: why telling someone to get over it is unproductive
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