When my first child, Emma, came into the world, I reveled in dressing her in cute outfits and stylish shoes. Fast forward to today, and I’m just relieved if my kids are wearing clean clothes! The transition from one child to two certainly shook up my daily routine, but the leap from two to three has fundamentally altered my approach to parenting.
The reason for this shift? Time and energy have become precious commodities in our home (I mean, there are just so many kids!). Occasionally, I feel a pang of guilt for not being able to give each of my children my undivided attention every day. However, the relaxed, carefree attitude I’ve adopted with my third child, Mia, has been incredibly liberating.
Here are eight ways that welcoming another baby has reshaped my parenting style:
- Encouraging Sibling Independence: My two older kids, Chloe, 6, and Jake, 4, love each other fiercely, but being siblings means they also fight like cats and dogs. Before Mia arrived, I often jumped in to mediate with phrases like “Let’s hear both sides” when I felt calm or “Just stop it already!” when I was at the end of my rope. Now, I tend to let them sort out their squabbles on their own, mainly because I’m either busy with the baby or simply too exhausted to intervene.
- Lowering My Standards: The perfectionist in me used to fret over every little detail, from meal prep to bedtime routines. Now, I’ve embraced a more relaxed perspective. Some days, dinner may be pizza or cereal, and I’ve learned to be okay with that. This has freed up my time and energy for more important moments, like cuddling on the couch and reading stories together.
- Prioritizing Playtime: With three kids vying for attention, I’ve become more intentional about scheduling playdates. I’ve discovered that allowing my older children to entertain each other not only fosters their creativity but also gives me a much-needed breather. Plus, I’m a firm believer in the benefits of unstructured play, something that’s backed by organizations like March of Dimes.
- Simplifying Activities: I used to plan elaborate outings for my kids, but now, the simpler, the better! A walk to the park or a trip to the local library is more than enough to keep everyone happy. This shift has not only made outings more enjoyable but also less stressful for me.
- Embracing the Chaos: Life with three kids is chaotic, and I’ve finally accepted it. Instead of trying to maintain a perfect home, I focus on creating a loving and joyful environment. Messy play and arts and crafts have become the norm, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
- Finding Joy in the Little Things: I’ve learned to appreciate the small moments—snuggles on the couch, spontaneous dance parties in the living room, and even the occasional tantrum. These fleeting moments are the ones I cherish most.
- Letting Go of Guilt: As a mom, it’s easy to feel guilty for not doing enough for your kids. I’ve realized that I can’t do it all, and that’s okay. I’ve learned to let go of the guilt and focus on what truly matters: being present for my children and showing them love.
- Researching Better Options: As I navigate parenting three kids, I’ve also taken an interest in resources that can make life easier. For example, I’ve found this post on maternity bras to be incredibly helpful, especially as I juggle breastfeeding and comfort. Additionally, for those considering at-home insemination, companies like Make A Mom offer innovative solutions like reusable options, which I find intriguing. You can also learn more about how it works through their how it works page.
In conclusion, having a third child has profoundly impacted my parenting style. While there are days filled with challenges, the lessons learned have made me a more relaxed and joyful parent. Embracing the chaos and prioritizing love over perfection is the best gift I can give to all my children.