“Duck rhymes with that other word. You know, the bad one.”
That was quite the revelation from our six-year-old during a bustling New Orleans restaurant on a crowded holiday evening. A few patrons turned their heads in surprise, while others exchanged knowing glances or sympathetic smiles. One particularly poised woman offered a disapproving shake of her head.
“That’s correct, but it’s not appropriate for children to discuss. Please use your inside voice. Thank you.”
My partner and I resumed our meal, discussing sports, while our child focused on coloring a duck. The disapproving woman continued her silent judgment of our parenting.
However, my spouse and I were not caught off guard by our child’s expanding vocabulary. Here’s why we believe in a different approach:
Language Acquisition is Essential
While our child demonstrates artistic talent, her primary tool for communication is language. She has yet to express her needs through interpretive dance or poetry. To articulate effectively, she must learn a wide range of vocabulary. Knowing the nuances between words such as “eager” and “anxious” or “frustrated” and “angry” is crucial. As she navigates this linguistic landscape, we want her to feel comfortable experimenting with words, even those that may be deemed inappropriate in certain contexts.
Teaching Responsible Language Use
When our child uses the F-word, we can address it by explaining its inappropriateness for the setting first, followed by her age. If she insists on using it, we can discuss the consequences of choosing certain words, as they can lead to misunderstandings or escalate conflicts. For instance, if my teenage daughter were to use that word in a different context, it might provoke a response that could lead to a harmful exchange.
I would prefer to endure disapproving looks from fellow diners rather than jeopardize my child’s social interactions over a single word.
Avoiding the Stigmatization of Language
Words wield tremendous power—they can heal, uplift, or cause harm. Our child, who embodies a blend of cultures and is adopted by parents who do not resemble her, faces unique challenges. She is competitive and outspoken, traits that can sometimes make her a target for verbal attacks.
We will confront verbal challenges as they arise, but for now, I refuse to amplify the power of certain words by reacting with horror or disdain. Reacting strongly to any word can hinder her ability to understand its significance and properly discern its appropriate usage. While she may not grasp the full meaning of the F-word yet, we must prioritize more pressing parenting concerns.
Ultimately, our approach remains clear: We choose to embrace our child’s curiosity about language, trusting that we are fostering a healthy relationship with words.
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Summary
In conclusion, while it’s important to guide children in their language use, we should avoid harshly scolding them for experimenting with profane words. Instead, we can foster a supportive environment where they learn to understand the power and context of language.
Keyphrase: Why we shouldn’t scold kids for using profanity
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