Navigating Motherhood Without a Driver’s License

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In a recent coffee chat with a friend, we shared our frustrations about our children outgrowing naps. She mentioned how she resorts to strapping her son into his car seat and taking him for a drive to help him sleep, providing her a much-needed break. I nodded in understanding, but the reality is that I’ve never had that luxury.

I am a mother who cannot drive.

Due to my visual impairment, obtaining a driver’s license has never been an option for me. Growing up, this limitation didn’t bother me much; I relied on friends for rides or simply walked around my small California town. When I later moved to Portland, Oregon for college, the excellent public transportation system made it easy to navigate without a car. However, everything changed when I became a parent.

Running errands, especially during rainy days in the Pacific Northwest, has become quite the challenge. If we have a doctor’s appointment, for example, I must bundle my children in jackets, boots, and umbrellas, preparing for a trek that often exceeds a mile to reach the clinic. When we run out of essentials like milk or toilet paper, heading out into the elements is unavoidable. While many children might excitedly anticipate a stroll with their parents, my kids don’t have that choice, and it sometimes weighs on me. I feel guilty, even though I know it’s irrational, because I want the best for them. A walk in the wind when we’re already weary isn’t always what’s best.

Despite these challenges, I strive to maintain a positive outlook. My children have learned essential safety rules, such as looking both ways before crossing streets and waiting at signals. They are familiarizing themselves with public transit at a young age, fostering their independence and confidence for the future. Our urban life exposes them to a variety of people and experiences, teaching them that not being able to do something that most others can doesn’t mean a dull existence; it simply requires a different approach.

There are many days when I wish I could easily load my kids into a car, turn up the radio, and take leisurely drives until they fall asleep in the backseat, just like my friend can. But that’s not my reality. This is my life, and it’s all my children have ever known. They will develop resilience and self-reliance just as I did, and I take pride in imparting that lesson to them.

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In summary, while my inability to drive presents certain challenges, it also offers my children unique lessons in independence and resilience. We may navigate the world differently, but we are building a fulfilling life together.

Keyphrase: Motherhood without a Driver’s License

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