My son, Jonah, has formed a close bond with a girl from his home-school group. I observed them together during a recent gathering and was curious enough to ask him her name. “Mia,” he replied, which is significant since he typically doesn’t make an effort to remember names. In fact, he often refers to his friends in vague terms, such as “the girl with the braids whose mom teaches science.”
After some inquiry, I connected with Mia’s mother, who turned out to be a delightful and relatable person. “Mia has a kayak just like mine!” Jonah exclaimed excitedly as he dashed off. This sparked a conversation between Mia’s mom and me about our mutual passion for kayaking. It became evident that not only do they enjoy each other’s company, but they also share similar interests, including a fondness for niche television shows like the latest Scooby-Doo, a spy-themed series, and Doctor Who. They even both have gluten sensitivities and a shared belief in the Loch Ness monster. It seems like a perfect match.
While they were out kayaking, Jonah proposed to Mia, though they haven’t settled on a timeline for their engagement (Jonah is eager for it to happen sooner, while Mia prefers to wait). “She totally said ‘yes,’ Mom,” Jonah assures me.
Keep in mind that both Jonah and Mia are 6 years old.
Initially, I had reservations about the concept of childhood romance. I felt it could contribute to the early sexualization of children. After all, if kids label each other as “boyfriend” and “girlfriend,” what comes next? I remember my cousin’s kindergarten crush and the jealousy it sparked among us. I never acted on my feelings for my preschool sweetheart, but the desire was still there. I understand this is innocent play, but there’s an underlying notion that romantic relationships involve kissing, and I didn’t want my son to think he could kiss anyone outside of family.
I also believed their imaginations could be channeled into more creative pursuits. I envisioned them running around, pretending to be superheroes, rather than planning their wedding. (Jonah thinks they should marry at age 8, while Mia suggests college). Frankly, the idea of young children labeling each other as partners felt off-putting to me. I wanted to ensure that girls didn’t grow up thinking their main goal was simply to find a spouse.
However, this situation unfolded naturally. Jonah and Mia spend their time playing, engaging in imaginative activities like solving mysteries and cooking with their toy kitchen. I’ve observed only a few slightly affectionate actions that could be misconstrued as romantic, such as them taking photos of each other with their moms’ phones or leisurely floating down the river together during our last kayaking trip. They splashed each other and enjoyed their time without any pretense of creating a family or planning a wedding.
To them, calling each other “boyfriend” and “girlfriend” is simply mimicking the adult relationships they’ve seen, and it doesn’t seem to carry any heavy implications. If you ask Jonah, he will tell you that Mia is his best friend, and I’ve heard her say the same thing. The notion of marriage is just a playful add-on; it doesn’t seem to dictate their friendship. They hold hands occasionally (Jonah is known for holding hands with everyone), but I doubt they’ll be sneaking kisses anytime soon.
This is the kind of childhood relationship that I can genuinely support.
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In summary, my son’s innocent friendship with Mia has opened my eyes to the nature of childhood relationships. While I initially had concerns about the implications of such labels, I now recognize that their bond is based on mutual interests and genuine friendship, free from the weight of adult expectations.
Keyphrase: Childhood relationships
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