In recent years, there has been a troubling movement among certain individuals who seem intent on diminishing our cherished holidays. This trend may have escaped your notice, as its proponents employ a subtle and insidious approach.
As we approach this time of year, it’s clear that these holiday detractors have a particular disdain for the Big Three: Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. Their aversion lies not only in the joy these occasions bring but also in the indulgence that often accompanies them.
We are consistently inundated with advice such as “opt for the veggie platter.” Really? The veggie tray at a festive gathering is nothing short of an affront to those who revel in the spirit of celebration. Whether or not you adhere to a strict diet leading up to the event, if you attend my gathering, you should come prepared to enjoy, plain and simple.
I am resolved to stand against these joyless critics. Picture me channeling the spirit of a valiant warrior, defiant in my quest: “They may take our lives, but they shall never take our holidays!”
While I acknowledge that some holidays may have spiraled into overindulgence and excessive celebrations, let’s not lose sight of what truly matters. If one more person suggests I create a whimsical leprechaun trap for St. Patrick’s Day, I may very well lose my composure. But today, we focus on Halloween.
Do you recall the simpler times? The days before social media turned everyone into an expert in crafts and festivities? Before Pinterest set unrealistic expectations? Back then, we didn’t see creative “spooky fingers” made from carrot sticks. No one was turning clementines into pumpkins or attempting to make “boo-riffic” bananas. And that vegetable skeleton? Let’s just say I have no words for that.
In the past, we indulged ourselves with candy bars, ghost-shaped marshmallows, candy corn, and other delightful treats, all derived from that magical realm of processed goodness.
How do I plan to celebrate Halloween this year? I’ll be embracing tradition. I’ll teach my children the essential lessons for a successful Halloween: A) Always trick-or-treat in affluent neighborhoods. B) Indulge, and then indulge some more. C) Coconut treats are not worth your time. Our mission will be to seek out houses that provide full-sized candy bars (you heard me right!) and to avoid those offering homemade items or raisins. Trust me, raisins on Halloween can lead to utter chaos.
As a parent, I’ll ensure they select their favorite candies because, let’s face it, it’s only fair. We’ll snack on goodies as we walk from one house to another for energy. Once we return home, we’ll dump our candy haul on the floor, count it, and enjoy even more! I’ll be there to support them through the inevitable sugar crash and the post-candy exhaustion after a late-night movie. We are rebels in spirit!
Yes, the day after, we’ll restore some semblance of normalcy. I’ll portion out the candy reasonably and donate the leftovers to our local clinic. We’ll eat healthily, adhere to the rules, and reintegrate into society.
But let’s not forget—this is just one day. One day to celebrate as it’s meant to be done. Are you with me?
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In summary, let us reclaim Halloween and celebrate it in the spirit it deserves. We have the power to enjoy this day without shame or guilt.
Keyphrase: Reclaiming Halloween
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