Trigger warning: this article contains a description of child loss.
On a seemingly ordinary day, my son Alex exhibited a moment of curiosity and independence that would forever alter our lives. Just weeks shy of his second birthday, that day marked the end of his life.
We had just begun moving boxes into my father’s home after the recent passing of my mother. I was in the kitchen for a brief moment—perhaps 20 feet away from Alex, who was engrossed in a children’s show and snacking on raisins. My husband was in the garage with my father.
The French doors to the backyard opened directly to an inground pool. In a heartbreaking instant, Alex managed to open the door I believed was secure. When I returned to the room, he was gone. I called out in a singsong voice, “Alex! Where are you?” as I searched the house, while my husband and father began to look outside. Within moments, I heard a terrifying splash followed by my husband’s frantic shout, “He’s in the pool! Somebody call 911!” I stood frozen in shock, the reality dawning on me too late.
I had never considered the dangers of living in a home with a pool, nor the heightened vigilance it necessitated. I reassured my mother-in-law that Alex would never be outside unsupervised, despite her concerns—she lived in Florida, where child drownings are tragically common. I wish I had the same awareness while living in New Jersey.
I underestimated my son that day. He was an inquisitive toddler, but I thought he was more cautious than others. Just that morning, I had remarked to my father how attached Alex was to me. For any parent reading this who believes such a tragedy could never befall them, I once held the same belief. I can’t confirm whether the door was locked. Had I been more informed about water safety, I would have taken measures to secure it. Just as we childproof cabinets containing harmful substances, we must recognize that pools, ponds, and even small bodies of water pose significant risks.
According to the CDC, children aged 1 to 4 face the highest drowning rates, primarily occurring in residential pools. Drowning is the leading cause of death in this age group, aside from congenital birth defects, and for children aged 1 to 14, it ranks as the second leading cause of unintentional injury-related death after car accidents.
If we had prioritized water safety through education and proper fencing, Alex might still be alive today. The CDC states that a four-sided isolation fence can reduce the risk of drowning by 83% compared to three-sided property-line fencing. This statistic formed the basis for the town ordinance created in Alex’s memory.
In the months following Alex’s tragic death, we developed a close relationship with our clergy. Almost exactly one year later, our synagogue’s cantor approached us to share that she had applied for a permit to install a swimming pool at her home. The town clerk informed her of updated fencing laws, mentioning they were revised “because of that little boy who died.”
We were overwhelmed with emotions. The next day, my husband contacted the town for more information. We learned about the Child Fatality and Near Fatality Review Board, which assesses child accidents to determine how they could have been prevented. Alex’s case was presented anonymously, and we saw his initials, A.C., in the documentation. We reached out to the committee member who enacted the ordinance, requesting that Alex’s name and picture be included. Now named Alex’s Ordinance, it mandates that all new pools must have a four-sided barrier with a locked entrance. I felt as if Alex was alive again, in a bittersweet but meaningful way.
You may be thinking, “This could never happen to me. I watch my child closely. They can swim. We don’t have a pool.” Yet, many mothers I’ve met since Alex’s passing have shared their own near misses—children slipping out unnoticed, running into the street, or falling down stairs. The fear of losing a child is profound, and discussing it is often uncomfortable for those who have never experienced such a tragedy.
However, I find solace in knowing that lives have already been saved because of Alex’s story. I urge you to remain vigilant around water, to educate yourselves, and to ensure that all doors leading to pools are secured with functioning locks. Do not assume such a tragedy could never touch your life.
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In conclusion, the loss of my child serves as a tragic reminder of the critical importance of water safety. Educating ourselves and taking proactive measures can help prevent such devastating accidents in the future.
Keyphrase: child water safety awareness
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