From the moment a child enters the world, after ensuring their fingers and toes are intact and they’re generally healthy, most mothers find themselves fervently wishing for one thing: a baby who sleeps well. Ideally, this would happen sooner rather than later—though not necessarily on the first night or even in the initial weeks. Quality sleep is crucial for functioning in daily life, and it’s understandable for mothers to hope for it.
In my experience, my first child was an exceptionally poor sleeper. To clarify, she began as a good sleeper, managing to sleep through the night by five or six weeks. However, as she began to fall off the growth chart and approached failure to thrive, I was compelled to wake her every two hours for breastfeeding. As a result, she learned to be a poor sleeper, and it wasn’t until much later that I realized the impact of this routine. For nearly two years, if I didn’t respond to her cries immediately, she would become so distressed that she would throw up. It was challenging.
If you’re beginning to suspect that your baby may also be a poor sleeper, here are the five stages of grief that mothers often go through upon this realization. Which stage are you currently experiencing?
1. Denial
This stage often occurs after the initial weeks, and because denial serves as a powerful coping mechanism, it can be one of the longest phases. You hold onto the hope that things will improve; after all, they usually do. You’ve heard that many babies settle into a routine eventually, but you also contemplate myriad reasons why your baby hasn’t yet: perhaps they’re growing rapidly and require more nourishment, or it’s just a temporary sleep regression. You may even find yourself questioning the honesty of other parents.
2. Anger
Anger can manifest anywhere from just a few weeks to around six months. The moment you realize that this struggle is likely to continue, frustration sets in. You might find yourself feeling resentful when other parents share tales of their babies sleeping through the night at six weeks. It feels unjust, and you may even harbor resentment towards your own parents, who seem baffled by your child’s sleep issues when you were such a well-behaved infant.
3. Bargaining
At this point, you might consider hiring a sleep consultant or giving in to suggestions from friends advocating for various sleep strategies. You’re willing to try anything to achieve a decent night’s rest—even if it means introducing your baby to co-sleeping. You might tell yourself, “This will only be temporary until we navigate through this developmental phase!” But deep down, you know it’s likely not going to be that simple.
4. Depression
Around five to six months in, the reality of your nightly sleep deprivation becomes apparent. It’s disheartening to acknowledge that your baby’s sleep habits aren’t changing anytime soon. You may feel overwhelmed by the constant need to re-establish a sleep routine every time a regression occurs, and you may even find intimacy with your partner slipping away due to the ever-present baby in the room. This is a tough period where hope seems scarce.
5. Acceptance
Eventually, you may reach a point of acceptance. You might start consuming more caffeine to cope with your tiredness and come to terms with the fact that you’ll doze off during your favorite shows. Perhaps you’ll even begin to recognize the long-term perspective: this phase won’t last forever. In a few years, your child may surprise you by sleeping soundly through various disturbances, transitioning from needing 90 minutes to fall asleep to dozing off as soon as the lights go out.
In the meantime, if you’re looking for more resources on navigating your parenting journey, consider exploring this insightful article about couples’ fertility journeys or Wikipedia for excellent information on pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary
In conclusion, navigating the challenges of a restless baby can be an emotional rollercoaster for mothers. From denial and anger to bargaining, depression, and ultimately acceptance, each stage presents its own difficulties. However, understanding that this phase is temporary may help ease the journey. Embracing the long game can foster hope for peaceful nights ahead.
Keyphrase: baby sleep challenges
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