Recently, my family embarked on a road trip to our cabin in the serene landscapes of upstate New York. Reflecting on our previous journeys, I recalled how challenging these trips were when my children were infants. A four-hour drive often morphed into an all-day marathon, punctuated by countless stops for feeding and diaper changes. My little ones were notoriously fussy in the car, leading to frequent breaks just to calm their cries.
I can vividly picture those moments: my babies squirming in their car seats, tear-streaked faces, and flailing fists. It was a genuinely trying time for everyone involved. I’m relieved that phase is behind us.
On the way back from our recent excursion, we paused at a rest area to grab some coffee. My husband and sons remained comfortably in the car, engrossed in their devices, while I stood in the long line at Starbucks. Behind me, a father was gently bouncing a crying baby on his knee.
As the baby tugged at my hair, I chuckled and reassured the dad that I didn’t mind at all. He sheepishly remarked, “He’s just having a tough day.” When I inquired about the baby’s distress, he replied, “Oh, he really hates being in the car.” I empathized, sharing my own experiences of car rides filled with tears and frustration, which seemed to ease his burden momentarily.
Then he asked, “But I’ll miss it, right?” I laughed, responding, “You may miss some parts, but definitely not the car crying!”
As we reached the front of the line, the baby let out another wail, and the father once again expressed his hope of missing these moments in the future. I understood his sentiment; it’s a common refrain among parents, but I sometimes wish it didn’t exist.
When I first became a mother, I often heard, “You’ll miss this time.” I would vent about sleepless nights and overwhelming demands, only to be met with that same phrase. It felt dismissive and pressured me to cherish every moment, even the difficult ones. While I do miss certain aspects of my children’s infancy, I certainly don’t long for the challenging experiences—like being covered in vomit at 3 a.m. or enduring sleepless nights for months on end.
To that dad with the fussy baby, and to all new parents feeling overwhelmed: it’s perfectly acceptable to express your frustrations. Not every moment of parenting is joyous; some experiences are incredibly tough. If you’re struggling, don’t hesitate to vent. Every parent has faced similar challenges, and it doesn’t diminish your love for your children.
You might feel #blessed and #grateful while also recognizing that some aspects of parenting are undeniably difficult. It’s likely you won’t miss the sleepless nights or the constant crying. But what truly defines you as a parent is your resilience and unwavering love for your little ones. You navigate these challenges because you care deeply for them.
In essence, you are extraordinary—an incredible force of nature. Embrace the joyful moments, voice your grievances about the tough times, and keep pushing forward. Remember, you are not alone in this journey. We have all experienced the trials and triumphs of parenthood. And we all deserve a moment to indulge, perhaps with a visit to this blog post for a well-deserved break.
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In summary, embrace the highs and lows of parenting. It’s a journey filled with love, struggle, and countless memories. You are doing an incredible job.