Every so often, I find myself reminiscing about my younger days, reflecting on the carefree lifestyle I once led. I recall those quiet nights spent perched on the roof of my old home, gazing at the rolling thunderstorms in Kansas while chatting on the phone. I can almost smell the rain-soaked shingles, warmed by the sun during the day.
I remember the liberating feeling of staying up late on weekends, with no obligations to rise early the next morning. The freedom to sleep as long as I desired and wake up at my own pace was exhilarating. I think back to driving along country roads with the windows down, music blasting, and the sweet summer air filling my lungs, all while being playfully flirted with at stoplights.
I recall leisurely getting ready for outings, often taking an hour or more, yet I never seemed to arrive on time. I enjoyed solo trips to the store, wandering through the mall, and savoring uninterrupted meals without needing to jump up even once.
My stress revolved around trivial matters—whether a boy would call or who was dating whom. It wasn’t selfishness; it was simply a time when my world revolved around my own desires and dreams. Back then, I was spontaneous, a hopeless romantic, and a dreamer, blissfully unaware that those days would eventually conclude.
It’s easy to romanticize those carefree times when you’re immersed in the responsibilities of motherhood. I always envisioned a significant life, one filled with purpose, but I had no idea how small a “big” life could feel. I’m not out there changing the world like I once hoped; I haven’t traveled extensively, missed my chance to visit Africa, and haven’t tackled issues like human trafficking.
Now, my days are often filled with being called away from lunch to provide support during my child’s bathroom ventures. I’m busy pouring juice, changing diapers, and experiencing moments of frustration when my three-year-old seems to be on a wild rampage, despite my best efforts to parent effectively. A trip to Target often serves as my escape from the house, and my daily tasks include spoon-feeding, crafting sandwiches, folding and refolding laundry, and cleaning up messes, only to start over again in a few hours. I struggle to match my husband’s socks and keep track of everyone’s belongings.
I wake up to the gentle voice of my child requesting snuggles. My home is filled with the delightful sounds of toddler songs and baby babble. I receive sweet responses like “I wub you too,” accompanied by slobbery kisses. I find myself singing “You Are My Sunshine” on repeat, with a baby often attached to my hip. I forgo pants and makeup, sneak in quick showers, and my husband still manages to tell me I’m beautiful.
Yes, I sometimes drift back to those simpler days before embracing motherhood, lingering in those thoughts for a moment or even an entire afternoon, depending on how the day is going. However, I inevitably return to the present, to my boys and my partner, and I would choose this life time and again.
Someday, I will enjoy sleeping in again, and I might yearn for the tiny voice that woke me early. I’ll travel the world and reminisce about afternoons spent building Lego towers in my living room. I will miss the little laundry, the smudges on windows and mirrors, and the absence of car seats in my vehicle. I will long for the days of lifting my child into a shopping cart and chatting during our grocery trips. I will miss the overflowing bag of diapers, wipes, and little toys like Hot Wheels, along with the excuse to always have snacks on hand.
The days can feel long, but the years pass all too quickly. While I may not have changed the world yet, the dreamer within me remains vibrant and alive. The greatest dream I ever had is my reality now, and I am completely in love with it.
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Summary
The author reflects on the carefree days of youth with nostalgia, contrasting them with the fulfilling yet chaotic life of motherhood. While she occasionally longs for the past, she ultimately embraces her current reality, filled with love and purpose. The piece highlights the joys and challenges of parenting, emphasizing the deep connections formed with children.
Keyphrase: The joys of motherhood
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