Before my child embarks on a playdate at a new friend’s house, I always feel it’s essential to inquire about the presence of firearms. Typically, I send this question via email, often after a lengthy discussion about our children’s activities or school events. I simply phrase it: “Do you have any guns? If so, are they securely stored in a lockbox?” This question might seem blunt, but I believe it’s necessary.
Having grown up in a household without guns, my perspective is different from my husband’s, who had a police officer father. I know from experience that not all gun owners exercise the same level of caution, and this makes me uneasy. While I recognize and respect the rights granted by the Constitution, I find myself rewriting my inquiry multiple times to ensure it comes across as polite yet firm.
When one of my children was invited to a classmate’s home, I felt compelled to ask the question again. I could almost hear the laughter from the other end of the line as the parent responded. In another instance, my child went to the home of a police officer. In that case, I could lighten the mood by saying, “I ask this all the time!”
In our home, we avoid having toy guns, with the exception of a remote control zombie robot gifted by their grandmother. When my children request Nerf guns or water blasters, I explain my stance: guns are not toys, and their primary purpose is not for play. I do acknowledge the necessity of firearms for some professions, like law enforcement or military service, but I firmly believe guns should not be in the hands of children.
I often remind my kids that while we have pretend play items like firefighter hats and knight swords, there’s a stark difference. “No one has ever used a fireman’s hose or a sword to commit acts of violence in schools,” I tell them. This reasoning usually ends the discussion, as even a young child can grasp the gravity of the situation.
Interestingly, a new acquaintance of mine found my inquiry amusing. As a recent immigrant from the UK, she was taken aback by how commonplace discussions about firearms are in America. She shared my email with friends back home to highlight her efforts to integrate into American culture, and others from Canada echoed her sentiment: firearms seem so uniquely American. Yet, everyone understands the implications of combining children with guns — it’s a topic that elicits immediate responses.
Strangely, I’ve never had another parent ask me if we own firearms or what activities their child will be participating in during playdates. I believe in giving my children the freedom to explore, even if it means climbing trees or encountering bees. However, I can’t shield them from every potential danger.
While I could ask parents about other risks—like the presence of sexual predators, exposure to violent media, or even medication safety—I often feel that the discussion around gun safety provides a necessary entry point for broader conversations about keeping our children safe.
So, my approach is straightforward: “I’ll be back in a couple of hours. No allergies to report. Here’s some sunscreen and a loaf of homemade banana bread. Also, do you have any firearms at home? If so, are they stored securely?”
As a parent, I’ve drawn my line here. Understanding the complexities of parenting and safety is crucial in nurturing our children’s well-being.
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In summary, the question of firearm safety is just one aspect of ensuring our children’s safety during playdates. While it may feel uncomfortable to ask, it is essential in today’s environment.
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