Updated: Aug. 18, 2023
Originally Published: Aug. 18, 2023
My children might argue otherwise, but I consider myself a fairly relaxed parent. While we have established rules that I generally enforce, I also make an effort to listen to their perspectives. If they present a compelling case, I’m open to adjusting those rules.
For instance, if my 9-year-old asks me to pick up his clothes because he’s too tired, I’m likely to oblige if he asks politely. And yes, I might give my youngest a lollipop outside of “dessert time” simply because he looks adorable with his new haircut and complimented me on my dress just moments before. It’s true — I have indulged my children.
I also spoil them with material things. Though our budget is limited, they still receive toys, video games, and treats like ice cream. Most of the leftover money in our accounts goes toward them. To me, they are my priority, as they should be during their childhood.
It’s essential to remember that they are still kids. They can become quite upset over trivial matters, which is a reflection of their developing impulse control. Their brains are still maturing, and I strive to exercise patience with their emotional outbursts. While I must instill structure, I also need to empathize with their feelings. It’s indeed a challenging balance.
Moreover, they are incredibly charming, and I want to cherish these moments while they last. When my 3-year-old requests I lie down with him for his nap, how can I refuse? Similarly, if my 9-year-old has a nightmare, I allow him to sleep in my room — and sometimes for weeks afterward — because why not?
I may be lenient at times, but one principle I firmly uphold is that I will not tolerate disrespectful behavior from my children. This extends beyond mere manners; it encompasses fostering kindness and respect.
Nurturing Empathy in My Children
So, how do I nurture empathy in my children? For starters, discussing feelings is a regular practice in our home. My kids might be weary of hearing about emotions, but it’s crucial for us. When they misbehave—whether it’s ignoring screen time limits or engaging in physical conflicts—I need to understand what’s driving their actions.
Sometimes they struggle to articulate their feelings in the moment, and yes, they face consequences if their behavior is harmful. However, we don’t punish them for their emotions. Once they regain composure, they generally communicate their feelings effectively.
By respecting their emotions, I am teaching them the values of kindness, love, and empathy. Consequently, they’ve become good listeners—not just to me, but also to teachers and peers.
My behavior sets the standard for how they will treat others. If that sometimes means I appear indulgent or overly lenient, then so be it. My primary goal is for my children to feel loved, secure, and cherished. I am confident that showering them with unconditional love will empower them to share that love with others.
While I am by no means a perfect parent, I navigate this journey as best I can. Despite the occasional spoiling, it seems to be effective; my children are kind, caring individuals, and I believe they will grow into respectful adults who value empathy above all else.
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In summary, while I may spoil my children in certain ways, my commitment to instilling values of kindness and respect remains unwavering. By nurturing their emotional intelligence, I hope to raise compassionate individuals who will positively impact the world around them.
Keyphrase: Parenting with Empathy
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