Recently, I undertook a personal experiment. My little ones, aged 3 and 4, had been particularly challenging—filled with tantrums, loud outbursts, and persistent whining. As someone who tends to be a “fixer,” I felt compelled to address what I perceived as problems. I viewed their behaviors as obstacles to be overcome, eager to reshape them into something more manageable.
In an effort to improve the situation, I decided to implement a “yes” day. The idea was simple: by granting them every wish and desire, I hoped to foster happiness, reduce the screaming, and create a day reminiscent of the joyful climax of a Disney movie—complete with laughter, hugs, and perhaps a song or two in the background.
The day began. We played their favorite games, created new activities, danced, and sang while wearing costumes. We engaged in arts and crafts, even indulging in glitter—a clear sign of my desperation. We visited the park, munched on their preferred snacks, and I let them assist in preparing dinner, including baking muffins. I showered them with laughter and affirmation.
However, despite my efforts, nothing significantly changed. The whining, crying, and screaming continued. They still felt dissatisfied and expressed their frustrations through tantrums. In essence, they remained the same little kids they were before the experiment.
I came to realize that toddlers and preschoolers are not challenges to be fixed. In my attempt to address what I thought was problematic behavior, I discovered that I had given them all of me, yet they were still navigating their own experiences. They are young individuals learning about boundaries, cause and effect, and their roles within the family dynamic. They are gradually figuring out who they are and who they aspire to be.
From this experience, I learned that a single day of saying “yes” isn’t a solution. Not even multiple “yes” days can address the underlying issues, as children are not merely problems to be solved. They are individuals who need love, guidance, and nurturing. They require a mentor, a patient listener, and a warm embrace—not just a day filled with indulgences.
As a fixer, I had a strong desire to correct my children’s behaviors, but I learned that what I truly can provide is my unconditional support every day. This support may vary from day to day; some days I can patiently engage in a puzzle or listen to the same knock-knock joke repeatedly, while other days may be more challenging due to my own human emotions. What matters is that I strive to give them my best each day, and if I can do that, I trust they will develop into wonderful individuals.
Moving forward, I hope to end more days feeling proud of my parenting rather than worrying about my shortcomings. I encourage you to seek the same.
For additional insights on parenting and fertility journeys, check out this blog post on couples’ fertility journey. If you’re interested in home insemination tools, this resource on an at-home insemination kit is highly regarded. You can also find valuable information at Johns Hopkins Medicine’s fertility center.
In summary, I discovered that parenting is not about fixing but about loving and guiding our children through their developmental journeys.
Keyphrase: Parenting without fixing
Tags: [“home insemination kit” “home insemination syringe” “self insemination”]