Who would have thought cargo shorts would be this contentious?
I can readily acknowledge that my partner significantly improved my sense of style. Gone are the oversized garments; I now wear attire that actually flatters my figure. My collection of t-shirts has evolved into a more sophisticated wardrobe (I do love t-shirts, though!). I’ve transitioned to jeans that are more appealing, sport stylish shoes, and even modified my hairstyle. Under my partner’s gentle guidance—sometimes even without my awareness—many of my college-era pieces have been discarded or donated. Overall, I’m quite pleased with the transformation.
Despite the occasional frustrations, marriage has refined my appearance. I willingly accept my partner’s fashion advice, particularly given my color blindness. Yet, everyone has their boundaries. For me, it’s about my favored t-shirts. For countless men, it’s the notorious cargo shorts, which have sparked a fashion war led by wives everywhere.
According to a recent article in the Wall Street Journal, cargo shorts are deemed highly undesirable. Women and fashion experts alike express disdain for these garments. Golf courses have prohibited them, and Tim Gunn, a prominent figure in the fashion world, described them as the “least fashionable” item in his closet. Women seem to want them eradicated completely. “I loathe them,” declared one wife, who habitually disposes of her husband’s cargo shorts, lamenting, “There were many great things about the ’90s. Cargo shorts were not one of them.”
To begin with, there weren’t that many great things about the 90s. Also, it’s worth noting that cargo shorts originated during WWII, created for their practicality. Men typically lack purses, leading to the necessity for pockets—especially for fathers. I personally do not wear cargo shorts, but I know numerous dads who do, and I’ve witnessed them extract smoothies, pacifiers, wipes, diapers, yo-yos, bubble solution, and bibs from their oversized pockets. I have yet to see a woman retrieve anything useful from her yoga pants, nor have I encountered a pair of cargo shorts emblazoned with “JUICY” on the backside. So let’s take a step back, ladies.
Redbook Magazine published an article titled “Cargo Shorts Are Ruining Marriages Across America.” While I haven’t read it, I can confidently assert that clothing alone does not typically lead to marital discord. If I were to express embarrassment over my partner’s attire or secretly donate her yoga shorts—or, heaven forbid, one of her oversized handbags—our relationship would be in serious trouble. It’s best not to mock your partner while simultaneously undermining their trust.
Of course, I would never discard my partner’s yoga pants. Not out of fear of retaliation, but because I genuinely appreciate them. I envy her yoga pants; they look incredibly comfortable. If she opts to wear them around the clock, more power to her. Perhaps a dress is in order for dinner outings, but with two children, she certainly doesn’t need to dress up just to receive a messy handprint from our son. And neither do dads.
Parenting is challenging, often messy work that requires ample resources—even if those resources come in the form of a few band-aids or stickers tucked away in a bulky pair of multi-pocketed cargo shorts. While they may not be the most fashionable choice, they certainly serve their purpose and provide comfort.
However, if your partner insists on wearing camouflage cargo shorts? That might be a valid reason for seeking an annulment.
This article was originally published on August 4, 2016.
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Summary
Cargo shorts have become a source of contention in the fashion world, particularly among wives who wish to banish them from their husbands’ wardrobes. While these shorts offer practicality and comfort—especially for fathers—many women view them as a fashion faux pas. The debate highlights the complexities of marital fashion dynamics and the importance of mutual respect in personal style.
Keyphrase: Cargo shorts fashion
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