“Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming…”
Who would have thought that a Disney character I relate to isn’t a princess locked in a tower but rather a blue fish with memory challenges? As a parent of a child on the autism spectrum, I often feel like I’m swimming upstream against the current.
Access to support services for my son can be a daunting task, leading to daily struggles in securing the right resources. Our family dynamic is far from conventional, and we routinely face judgment from others, which adds to the pressure. At times, it feels overwhelming, and I find myself wondering where I will gather the strength to advocate for my child once again.
Ironically, it’s often the small, everyday tasks that make me feel like I might sink — like doing the dishes. Just last night, I entered the kitchen to be greeted by a mountain of dirty dishes. The sight of chipped bowls and coffee-stained mugs made me feel defeated. I slammed the door in frustration and retreated to bed.
However, this morning, when I opened the kitchen door, that pile of dishes didn’t seem as daunting as I had imagined. My mind had tricked me because of my tendency to expect the worst.
I realized that I should have simply said, “So what!” There’s a sense of liberation in going with the flow. Indeed, there’s often a silver lining, even in less-than-ideal situations.
So what if I leave the dishes in the sink overnight? In the grand scheme of life, does it really matter? No, it doesn’t. Besides, letting them pile up might just prompt my partner to finally buy that dishwasher I’ve been wanting for months — a clever strategy!
So what if I’m not one of the millions watching feel-good TV on Sundays? I can always catch up later in the week and skip the commercials.
So what if I shower at 10:30 p.m. because my mornings revolve around getting my son ready for school instead of focusing on my appearance? I’ve never been a morning person anyway.
So what if my partner and I have to take time off work for a daytime date because we can’t find a babysitter at night? We can often find great midweek deals at local restaurants.
So what if we alternate family gatherings because big crowds overwhelm us? This allows us to spend quality time with our daughters during our turn, while the other spouse enjoys an evening of peace at home.
So what if we vacation in the same place each year for the sake of consistency? At least we know what to expect, avoiding any unpleasant surprises.
So what if I prioritize comfort over style and wear practical shoes? I need to be able to chase after a child or retrieve a remote control without dealing with blisters.
So what if I have to be home by 10:30 p.m. when out because my son gets anxious if I’m not back by the time the news finishes? At this point in my life, I appreciate it; I’d much rather be cozy in bed with a warm drink.
So what if I had to leave my job? Every ending opens up new opportunities, and I wouldn’t be sharing this with you if I were still in my previous role.
So what if my son prefers to communicate via text because discussing feelings in person is challenging for him? I can save those messages as cherished memories to embarrass him later.
So what if I spend much of my day filling out forms and making calls to meet my son’s needs? It’s strengthening my resolve as a parent, empowering me in this journey.
So what if my son only wears particular socks due to sensory sensitivities? When we find ones he likes, we buy several pairs to avoid endless searches for mismatched ones.
So what if we’ve watched “Harry Potter” numerous times? At least I now know the spell to use in case of a Dementor invasion — “Expecto Patronum!”
So what if my son attends a specialized education school? It’s where he thrives, feels accepted, and truly belongs. That’s all any parent desires for their child.
So what if I lose some friends due to our limited social calendar? True friends will understand and remain by my side. I would rather have a few genuine friends than many who only appreciate my party tricks.
So what if we aren’t a “typical” family? Normalcy is overrated. I’ve learned not to compare myself to the seemingly perfect families on social media; everyone faces their own challenges.
So what if my son is autistic? He is still the unique and wonderful individual I love, and I refuse to let others’ judgments impact his self-esteem.
So what if people disagree with my choices? They don’t have to walk in my shoes or understand my experiences.
The next time you feel overwhelmed, try adopting the mindset of “so what?” and ride the waves instead. Imagine yourself floating on a relaxing inflatable, cocktail in hand, while humming along like that little blue fish, “just keep swimming, swimming, swimming.”
We, as parents, don’t always need to fight against the current. It can be exhausting, so remember: “When life gets you down, do you know what you gotta do? Just keep swimming!”
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Summary:
This article reflects on the challenges and joys of parenting a child on the autism spectrum. It emphasizes embracing a relaxed attitude toward everyday struggles and finding positivity in unconventional situations. The narrative encourages parents to let go of societal expectations and focus on what truly matters: the well-being and happiness of their children.
Keyphrase: Parenting an Autistic Child
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