I embrace the label of “strict mom,” and I take pride in the perception my children have of me. After years of reflection, discipline, and emotional investment (mostly on my part), I’ve grown confident in my parenting approach. When I embarked on the journey of motherhood, I was inexperienced, but I was determined on two fronts: I would enforce rules, and I would guide my children to become self-sufficient individuals rather than entitled ones. And yes, a third principle—this household prioritizes sleep.
I quickly recognized that children don’t arrive equipped with an understanding of right and wrong, nor do they naturally maintain tidy spaces. Initially, my expectations were modest; I simply wanted my toddler to assist in cleaning up his toys at the end of the day. Some days, he would only manage to return one toy to the box while I handled the rest of the chaos. Over time, however, he learned how to tackle his extensive Lego collections. The same was true for my daughter, who joined the family a few years later. By consistently involving them in the cleanup process and leading by example, they eventually grasped the expectations of our home.
Instilling house rules transcends mere cleaning and fair play. My home operates like a sleep regime—naps and bedtimes are non-negotiable. Anyone with a toddler can attest that trying to explain that they need to sleep so I can enjoy some personal time often falls on deaf ears. Mastering the art of sleep is essential for children, and if I wanted to catch up on my favorite shows in the evenings, I had to equip them with the necessary skills. A consistent bedtime, clear guidelines about staying in bed, and some patience while they protested ultimately led to children who sleep through the night. They learned independence early on, understanding that I wouldn’t always rescue them from imaginary fears.
As my children approach their teenage years, the time has come for them to embrace greater responsibilities. They are at an age where I can teach them essential life skills that will benefit them in college and beyond. Just as I guided them in cleaning their toy area, I need to prepare them for adulthood so they aren’t caught off guard when they enter dorm life. Increasingly, I find myself stepping back, allowing them to take charge of tasks that I once did for them.
Fostering independence involves teaching them how to approach projects, establishing routines, and then allowing them to navigate the process, whether it results in success or chaos. Not long ago, my son expressed interest in making his own lunches. Seizing this teachable moment, I assigned him this task. I stocked the fridge with nutritious options, set some guidelines, and then enjoyed my coffee while he crafted his meal. Before long, he was preparing lunches for his sister as well. This newfound skill not only streamlined our mornings but also allowed me to savor my coffee before the bus arrived.
Friends are often surprised to learn that I don’t monitor my kids’ homework or track their project deadlines. I’m certainly available to assist with challenging homework and ensure they have necessary supplies, but ultimately, the responsibility rests with them. Hovering over their academic work can hinder their ability to manage time and face the consequences of delayed submissions.
Recently, my son turned in an assignment late, which impacted his grade and honor society eligibility. This experience taught him a crucial lesson about time management, one that was difficult for both of us. However, I didn’t intervene to rescue him from his mistakes; he accepted the consequences, and we both understand he will strive to improve next time. Learning through experience will leave a lasting impression on him.
I maintain high expectations for my children and require their active participation in our household. I equip them with the knowledge and resources they need to thrive. With only a few years left before they venture into the world, I appreciate not only the relief of not having to empty the dishwasher but also the satisfaction of watching my children take initiative. Their future roommates will surely be grateful for their newfound cleaning abilities!
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In summary, my approach to parenting is centered on fostering independence and teaching my children essential life skills. I believe that by setting high expectations and allowing them to navigate challenges, I am preparing them for a responsible future.
Keyphrase: Raising Responsible Children
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