In the journey of parenthood, there comes a pivotal moment when children pose a life-altering inquiry. This is not the infamous, “Where do babies come from?” but rather, “Can we get a dog?” In a humorous Reddit post titled “Dog Agreement by Hesitant Dad,” user jsmith89 unveiled his response to this daunting question: a contractual document that his children were required to sign, outlining detailed stipulations regarding their prospective canine companion, including everything from the dog’s size to designated areas for its bathroom breaks.
The contract states, “We can adopt a dog provided everyone agrees to the following conditions.” The first rule? “Dad is never responsible for picking up dog waste. The children shall handle waste removal three times a week to Dad’s satisfaction.” Subsequent clauses specify the dog’s characteristics, such as a maximum weight of 15 pounds, no shedding (good luck with that), and a strict bathroom policy that restricts the dog to the side yard (specifically on the rocks next to Sarah’s fence—sorry, Sarah!). The contract also mandates that if the dog begins to smell, it must be bathed by a child at Dad’s discretion, and it must not drool or have a runny nose. “All parties acknowledge that such dogs are undesirable,” the agreement notes.
Other Notable Rules Include:
- The dog must not scratch the floors. Dad is indifferent to how this is achieved—be it through nail clipping, booties, or even surgical intervention. All parties concur that floor scratching by the dog is unacceptable.
- In the event of any mess in the house, if modern cleaning solutions fail, harsher chemicals may be used to address stains and odors.
- Dad retains complete veto authority over the dog’s name.
- The dog should never be referred to as a child or sibling. All parties agree that the dog is a dog.
- The dog will not be mentioned by name in the family holiday card. Should the dog appear in a photo, it must be a secondary subject.
Most crucially:
- The children vow to maintain their love and interest in the dog throughout its life. All parties consent that the dog is primarily the children’s responsibility.
The Reddit community largely received the dad’s contract with laughter, and some suggested he would ultimately form a bond with the dog that he does not yet realize. While a few critics labeled him as overly harsh, this contract serves as a realistic checklist of responsibilities that prospective dog owners should consider. Dogs require significant commitment, and this dad’s approach blends humor with essential life lessons.
In the comments, jsmith89 revealed that his family did indeed adopt a dog shortly after signing the contract. “Two weeks later, we brought home a three-year-old, 15-pound fluffy mutt from a shelter who is already house-trained, doesn’t shed, and doesn’t drool,” he shared. They named him Max (veto power not exercised), and everyone, including Dad, has fallen in love with this new addition to their family.
Thus, a family dog agreement proves to be a sensible idea after all.
For additional insights into home insemination, check out our post on home insemination kits. To enhance your chances of conception, consider exploring fertility supplements. For more detailed information on insemination techniques, visit this resource on IUI.
In summary, a father’s humorous approach to establishing a family dog contract not only provides laughter but also sets clear expectations about the responsibilities of pet ownership. This agreement helps prepare children for the commitment of caring for a dog, ensuring that everyone understands their role in welcoming a new furry family member.
Keyphrase: Family Dog Contract
Tags: [“home insemination kit” “home insemination syringe” “self insemination”]