Let’s Stop Judging Parents for Public Tantrums

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On a typical morning, my 2-year-old son was having a monumental meltdown while we were en route to grab donuts. I had promised his older siblings a trip to their favorite donut shop as a reward for their help with chores. Rather than hold everyone back due to my youngest’s inability to cope, we decided to utilize the drive-thru instead. I maintained my composure as he screamed during the order, and suddenly he shouted, “I’ll take two dumbs and one ugly!” while kicking the seat. Those were the extent of his expressive vocabulary in that moment, and he wanted to let it out since I wasn’t giving in to his demands.

Despite my best efforts to sidestep a public outburst, the entire restaurant still heard him. Here’s the reality: kids will throw tantrums—sometimes at home, but often in public spaces like Target. It’s 2023; we need to move past the outdated notion that children should be seen and not heard. It’s time to approach public tantrums with a bit of empathy while keeping these points in mind:

  1. Tantrums Are Normal.
    Tantrums are a typical phase of childhood development. I can attest to this—each of my three children has gone through it, including my usually well-behaved middle child, Lily. Though she was generally quiet and slept well, she had her fair share of public meltdowns. This behavior didn’t mean she was out of control; instead, she often returned to her cheerful self afterward.
  2. It’s Not a Discipline Issue.
    In my younger years, I mistakenly attributed temper tantrums to poor discipline. I would often question how parents could allow such outbursts while I enjoyed drinks with friends. However, I have since learned firsthand that trying to discipline kids in the middle of their emotional storm rarely works, as I have experienced the interruption of my own dining experiences.
  3. Every Child Experiences This.
    Yes, every child will have moments of distress. They might be struggling to communicate their needs or simply having a rough day. I occasionally feel like throwing a tantrum myself, but being an adult means I can self-soothe in more socially acceptable ways—like enjoying a glass of wine.
  4. No One is Enjoying the Situation.
    Not the child, not the parents, not the cashier. But life has its challenges, and this is one of them. Just as I don’t relish trips to the doctor or cleaning up after my dog, I have to deal with these moments. In fact, witnessing a tantrum can make quiet family dinners at home feel even more special.
  5. Offer Support, Don’t Criticize.
    It’s best not to interfere with another parent’s situation unless you’re genuinely trying to help. Overstepping can confuse the child and cause frustration for the parent. While there are indeed a few parents who may ignore their child’s outburst, most are equipped to handle their kids without unsolicited advice.

Tantrums are an inevitable part of parenting. If you venture into public spaces, be prepared to see and hear them. A little compassion towards struggling parents goes a long way, and it’s far more valuable than the judgmental looks from those who fail to understand the complexities of parenting.

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Summary

In conclusion, public tantrums are a normal part of childhood development that every child will experience at some point. Parents should not be judged harshly for these occurrences, as they are often beyond their control. Empathy and understanding from onlookers can make a significant difference in these challenging moments.

Keyphrase: public tantrums
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