As a parent, you may notice that children possess unique temperaments from the moment they are born. For instance, my first child, Alex, emerged as a spirited and determined infant—a trait that he continues to display today. In contrast, my second child, Jamie, arrived with a cheerful demeanor, often smiling even in his early days. These diverse personalities extend beyond general behavior; they also encompass how infants manage sleep.
Many parents often wonder if they should teach their children to self-soothe. Various factors influence a baby’s ability to settle down for sleep, including feeding methods—breastfed infants generally wake more often due to quicker digestion—and their individual sleep habits. Some infants naturally adapt to soothing themselves more easily than others.
I recently observed a remarkable newborn during a family gathering. This baby, nestled comfortably beside her mother, appeared drowsy after nursing but was not fully asleep. While watching her, I noticed her eyes gradually closing as she smiled at me, eventually falling into a peaceful slumber. It was a sight I had never encountered before.
Throughout my parenting journey, I encountered guidance suggesting that one should place babies down drowsy yet awake. Unfortunately, this approach never resonated with my children. Despite my attempts to gently transfer them into their cribs, they would often awaken instantly, looking at me as if I was an alien.
Curious about the other mother’s secret, I inquired about her baby’s remarkable ability to self-soothe. “She’s always been like this,” she replied, clarifying that she hadn’t employed sleep training techniques. This particular baby had no pacifier and wasn’t thumb-sucking, despite being surrounded by chatting adults and other babies.
In contrast, it took a significant amount of time before I could tuck my son into bed, say goodnight, and leave the room. At 9 years old, he has only recently started to embrace this routine. While some parents opt for sleep training, my family never pursued this path. I found it challenging to let my babies cry, especially knowing that their unique temperaments might not respond favorably to such methods.
If you find yourself in a similar situation—parenting a baby who hasn’t grasped the art of self-soothing—rest assured that you are not alone. It’s common to feel overwhelmed by a child who struggles with sleep, but this doesn’t imply any shortcomings on your part or your child’s. Self-soothing is not a prerequisite for peaceful nights. While it can simplify bedtime routines, there are various strategies to cope with the sleepless nights.
Consider sharing the bedtime responsibilities with a partner, co-sleeping for convenience, or taking turns sleeping in on weekends. Utilizing technology, such as an iPad, can also provide you with much-needed rest. Prioritizing self-care is crucial, and while every parent’s journey is unique, remember that you can find ways to reclaim your sleep and sanity.
Importantly, even if you don’t actively teach your child self-soothing techniques, they will likely develop this skill independently over time. While the timing may vary, children generally have an innate drive towards independence. After all, no one goes off to college needing their parents to help them fall asleep.
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Summary:
Children develop unique sleep temperaments that influence their ability to self-soothe. While some children naturally learn to settle themselves, others may not, and that’s perfectly okay. Parents should not feel pressured to teach self-soothing; instead, finding coping strategies and prioritizing self-care is essential for both their well-being and their child’s development.
Keyphrase: Teaching Children Self-Soothe
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