Love Is a Choice

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My grandparents enjoyed over 65 years of marriage despite being fundamentally different. Grandpa was tranquil and level-headed, while Grandma was fiercely determined and vocal. He was a visionary, while she was a pragmatic achiever. Their relationship flourished in the face of significant challenges, including career shifts, the birth of three children, the heartbreak of losing two of them within six months, starting and closing a business, and the everyday hurdles that every couple faces.

In today’s society, it’s often said that relationships lack permanence and that “divorce is too accessible.” Some argue that previous generations simply stayed married because “that’s how things were done back then.” However, I contend that my grandparents remained together because they grasped a crucial truth about marriage: “Some days,” Grandpa would wisely remark in his calm way, “Love is a choice.”

When entering marriage, few envision a future that doesn’t last. No one includes “until divorce do us part” in their vows. Indeed, there are circumstances where divorce is the best route due to deal-breakers, but for many, it’s essential to learn how to navigate the inevitable rough patches. These rough patches can range from minor annoyances, like your partner’s disruptive snoring, to major life-altering issues. Both types of challenges will arise in any marriage.

Love is indeed a choice, though it can be complicated. Initially, falling in love feels effortless. Yet, maintaining that love over time requires effort and intention. Life often intervenes, and the pressures of marriage can dim that initial spark. Sometimes, it seems almost impossible to rekindle that early excitement.

It is during these challenging times, when we feel distant from each other, that we must actively choose to love. It’s during those weeks or months when giving up seems like the simplest option that we must dig deep and remember why we chose our partners in the first place. It’s normal to feel lost and to question the relationship when times are tough. Sharing our vulnerabilities with our partners—showing them our deepest fears and shortcomings—can be messy, but this ugliness is part of building intimacy, which ultimately strengthens our bond.

Love is a conscious decision rather than a mere circumstance. Marriage consists of a series of experiences that continually remind us of this fact. It’s not an idyllic path filled with endless joy; instead, it resembles a winding trail with rocky and steep sections, interspersed with breathtaking views that challenge our endurance. It is through overcoming adversity that we learn to appreciate the peaceful moments.

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In summary, love is a choice that requires dedication, especially during challenging times. Understanding this can help couples navigate the complexities of marriage and foster a deeper connection.

Keyphrase: Love is a choice
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