I nursed her in various locations—stores, parks, and restaurants. I even managed to breastfeed while walking with her in a baby carrier and learned how to lean over her car seat to nurse, but only when we were safely stopped in traffic. Remarkably, I never faced any scrutiny while nursing without a cover. Living in a suburb of New York City, where public breastfeeding was uncommon but not unheard of, I was grateful that I had not encountered harassment.
However, one summer when my daughter was six months old, we took a trip upstate. One afternoon, we opted for lunch at a nearby Subway, and while waiting for our sandwiches, my baby needed to nurse. I lifted my shirt and began feeding her, seated in a booth at the back of the restaurant. I was unaware of my surroundings at that moment, but this detail would haunt me later.
Suddenly, an employee shouted across the restaurant, “Excuse me, ma’am, you can’t do that here.” Confused, I asked for clarification. “I’ve nursed my babies too, but you can’t do that here. Please go to the restroom if you want to continue. People are eating,” she insisted, gesturing toward the only other diner. “That’s indecent exposure,” she added.
In that moment, I felt utterly speechless. While I attempted to assert my legal right to breastfeed, her persistent claims of indecency overwhelmed me. Ultimately, I chose to leave, feeling violated and ashamed—emotions that have lingered for over eight years. Though I was fully clothed while nursing, her words stripped me of my comfort, making me feel exposed. Despite being in a relatively private space, I felt as though the world was watching.
Even now, I feel a sense of embarrassment not for the incident itself but for my inability to confront that woman. I wished my breastfeeding journey could be remembered as one of courage and pride.
After the incident, I wrote a letter to Subway and received an apology from the store owner, who promised to educate staff on a mother’s right to breastfeed. While I appreciated the acknowledgment and received a coupon for free sandwiches, I still didn’t regain my prior sense of confidence.
Although I continued to breastfeed in public, I became acutely aware of my surroundings, my attire, and how much of my body was visible when my baby unlatched. Shortly after this experience, I pursued a path as a breastfeeding counselor and later became a certified lactation consultant (IBCLC). I often discuss how our society has sexualized breasts to the point where breastfeeding is viewed as inappropriate.
It’s crucial to understand that all women have the legal right to breastfeed in public in 49 out of 50 states, though few states enforce penalties against violators. We must advocate for mothers facing harassment while breastfeeding, participate in nurse-ins, and normalize public breastfeeding to create a supportive community.
The unfortunate truth is that many women experience harassment while nursing. Some incidents are reported, but many go unnoticed. Others may feel pressured to avoid public breastfeeding altogether due to fear of judgment or harassment. Some opt for covers, while others resort to pumping and using bottles, or even weaning their babies earlier than they would like.
As a lactation consultant, I never dictate whether a mother should breastfeed in public or use a cover. I understand the complex feelings surrounding body image, shame, and exposure. I wish I could assure mothers that public breastfeeding will always be accepted. Although it likely will be for most, I recognize that harassment remains a very real concern, and we have much work ahead of us to change this narrative.
This issue transcends personal choice; it’s fundamentally about human dignity and respect for mothers and families. In 2016, it is unacceptable that women must think twice before nursing their babies in public, but this is the reality we face. Change is necessary.
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In summary, public breastfeeding should be a normalized and supported practice. Women deserve the right to nourish their children without facing harassment or shame. As a society, we must work to dismantle the stigma surrounding breastfeeding in public spaces.
Keyphrase: Public Breastfeeding Rights
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