It was just my 18-year-old daughter and I, sharing a quiet moment on the couch watching television when I felt compelled to ask a question that had been on my mind for a while. With her impending departure for college, I found myself yearning for some acknowledgment of my parenting over the past 18 years. I knew my question could be loaded with emotional weight, and given her personality, I anticipated a response laced with sarcasm, but I took the plunge anyway.
I grasped her hand, looked her directly in the eyes, and asked, “Did you have a happy childhood?”
“What? Seriously, Mom? What kind of question is that?” she replied, a grin spreading across her face.
“I just need to know,” I insisted.
“Honestly, don’t even think about it. Of course, I had a happy childhood! It was awesome! This is such a silly question. Why are you asking this now? And why do you doubt yourself so much?” she said.
She had a point. Why was I asking her this at this moment, and why was I feeling uncertain? I was asking because I finally believed she could give me an honest answer. You can’t really ask your 3-year-old, “How’s Mommy doing?” and expect a meaningful response. A tween would likely roll their eyes and walk away, while a teenager might grunt and respond with indifference. But a young adult heading off to college? They’re more likely to be genuine and straightforward.
For the first time, I fully believed her response, yet I was surprised she didn’t realize my doubts. After all, she had grown up in this household, witnessing countless moments of my struggles as a parent. From my late-night worries to my early morning anxieties, she had seen it all. As my firstborn, she was my primary experiment in parenting, and every choice I made was uncharted territory.
“Mom?” she asked, “Did you hear my answer? My childhood? You did great, Mom.”
Instead of explaining my doubts or the reasons behind my question, I simply absorbed her words. They washed away 18 years of self-questioning and replaced it with the reassurance I had longed for: “You did great, Mom.”
That day marked a pivotal moment—one where I finally felt appreciated and validated. For all the mothers out there, this moment will come, I assure you. However, don’t wait 18 years for it to arrive. Even if your children don’t outwardly express their gratitude, observe the good individuals they’re becoming and trust that you are indeed doing well, because you truly are.
For more insights on parenting and home insemination, check out our other blog posts, including resources on choosing the right home insemination kit and a detailed guide on donor insemination.
Summary:
The author reflects on a heartfelt conversation with her daughter about the quality of her childhood. This moment brings validation and appreciation for her parenting efforts, emphasizing the importance of recognizing the positive impact parents have on their children. The narrative encourages mothers to trust in their parenting abilities, regardless of self-doubt.
Keyphrase: Parenting validation moment
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