During a recent bath time with my son, we found ourselves discussing Disney’s Robin Hood. He voiced his fondness for the movie, yet expressed discomfort with its ending, where the main characters kiss and marry.
“Maybe one day, you’ll want to get married,” I suggested.
“I might want to marry a boy,” he replied confidently.
“That’s totally fine. Boys can marry boys, and girls can marry girls,” I assured him.
He smiled, seemingly content with the idea. It was a moment that highlighted the innocence of childhood—children do not inherently judge others or see differences as barriers. They simply absorb what they observe around them. My son, for instance, has never mentioned the same-sex couple in Finding Dory nor shown any concern about Elsa’s representation in Frozen. He’s just a kid who loves a catchy tune.
The prejudices that children may develop often stem from the environment we create for them. They learn from us—not only by mimicking our actions but also by internalizing our language and the meanings behind it. This brings me to the term “tolerance.”
While it may seem like a neutral term, “tolerance” carries an underlying implication of superiority. To tolerate something suggests that you are enduring it, even if it makes you uncomfortable. This is particularly problematic when discussing diversity, including LGBT individuals, ethnic minorities, or anyone who differs from the norm.
We should not be teaching our children to merely tolerate differences; instead, we should encourage them to embrace and celebrate diversity. The term “acceptance” is more fitting, as it fosters a sense of belonging and love rather than a grudging endurance.
Although using “tolerance” isn’t equivalent to hate speech, its insidious nature can camouflage negative sentiments. It allows individuals to express a semblance of inclusiveness while still harboring biases. This creates mixed messages for our children and undermines the very values we wish to instill in them.
When I spoke with my son, I was mindful of the words I chose. I wanted to preserve and reinforce his innocent perspective. It’s vital that children learn not just to be “okay” with those who are different but to wholeheartedly accept humanity in its entirety, without exceptions.
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In summary, as we guide our children through understanding diversity, we must choose our language carefully. Promoting acceptance over tolerance fosters a more inclusive environment for future generations. Let’s strive for a world where differences are celebrated, not merely tolerated.
Keyphrase: Acceptance over tolerance
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