When a friend calls from far away, asking, “How have you been?” I typically respond with, “I’m fine! Busy, but fine.” This has become a standard reply for many of us. We often default to phrases like “Okay,” or “All good.” While it’s not entirely untrue — I am, in fact, fine — it’s a vague term. It suggests a level of contentment that may not fully capture the complexity of our emotions.
What Does “Fine” Truly Signify?
So, what does “fine” truly signify? Does it reflect mere adequacy or genuine joy? It can serve as a convenient way to sidestep deeper conversations and transition to lighter topics. However, if I were to express my true feelings when asked, “How are you?” it might reveal a myriad of emotions, such as:
- I’m utterly fatigued and contemplating how I could possibly manage a daily caffeine IV drip.
- If one more child complains about their meal, I might just lose my sanity.
- I often grapple with the fear of inadequately raising my kids.
- My days feel like a juggling act with fragile objects, and I wasn’t trained for this.
- My love for my children is so profound that it sometimes feels overwhelming.
- I occasionally feel like my brain is on the verge of a meltdown.
- I’m perpetually anxious about everything: my children, finances, the state of the world, and even my cat’s unpredictable behavior.
- I find myself shedding tears in the shower.
- I am constantly amazed by my children’s growth and learning.
- Some nights, I sleep poorly, weighed down by the responsibilities of motherhood.
- Other times, after a good night’s sleep, I feel rejuvenated and uplifted.
- Although I cherish my children more than anything, I sometimes fantasize about escaping.
- I’m earnestly trying to balance the roles of a wife, mother, sibling, employee, and friend.
- I can hardly recall who I was before motherhood, and I often find myself longing for that person.
- The thought of my children growing up fills me with a profound sense of loss.
Beneath the surface of being “fine,” there exists a tumult of emotions inherent to motherhood: constant worry, overwhelming love, and conflicting desires. These feelings can sometimes manifest, particularly during quiet moments, or erupt unexpectedly after the kids are settled in bed.
Should We Share These Complex Emotions?
Should we share these complex emotions? I believe we should, especially with close friends and fellow mothers. We often feel isolated in our struggles, yet many of us share similar experiences. If we don’t communicate openly, we risk feeling alone in our turmoil. However, the question remains: do others truly want to hear our honest truths? While I’m not certain, I recognize that “I’m fine” doesn’t quite encapsulate my reality. Perhaps a simpler response like, “I’m a mom,” could suffice; it conveys the essence of the experience without overwhelming detail.
Connecting and Sharing Our Stories
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Conclusion
In summary, our responses to “How are you?” often mask deeper feelings. While “I’m fine” is a convenient phrase, acknowledging the complexities of motherhood can foster connection and understanding among us.
Keyphrase: What I Really Mean When I Say “I’m Fine
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