Feeling inadequate as a parent? Pick up any article or study offering sleep advice, and you’re bound to leave feeling like you’ve failed. Recently, I came across a popular article emphasizing the essential nature of early bedtimes for children. It was packed with studies, theories, and anecdotes asserting that putting kids to bed early leads to happier, smarter, and healthier children. The author boldly declared, “My kids are in bed by 7:30 p.m., without exception.”
I couldn’t help but think, “What am I doing wrong?” My children have always gone to bed later than that. Our winding down process begins around 8 p.m., but it can take an eternity, resulting in them finally falling asleep around 9 or 9:30 p.m.
But then I stopped to reflect. My kids are thriving; they are intelligent and generally healthy. Yes, there are moments of typical childlike meltdowns, but overall, they exhibit good behavior. They might seem tired occasionally, but is that not a normal part of life? Perhaps they are getting the sleep they require, even if it doesn’t align with conventional wisdom.
Some children naturally gravitate towards being night owls, and mine are no exception. They tend to sleep in longer in the mornings too. While some articles state that the most restorative sleep occurs earlier in the night, it seems that some children are simply wired to stay up later and rise later.
I’ve attempted to shift their bedtime earlier, initiating the nighttime routine at 7 p.m. and enforcing strict adherence to pajamas, teeth brushing, and bedtime stories. However, as soon as the lights dim, the questions begin: “Mom, how does the sun shine? Why doesn’t Sarah want to play with me? What happens when you die?”
These questions deserve thoughtful responses, not dismissals. I’m not going to ignore the profound inquiries that arise during this intimate time, even if it means pushing their sleep time a little later.
Moreover, starting bedtime earlier isn’t practical for us. My older child returns home from school around 3 p.m., where he unwinds with a snack and some screen time before dinner, homework, and family time with my partner, Greg. By the time we reach 7 p.m., it’s crucial for them to connect with their dad, who plays a significant role in their bedtime routine. The kids have grown accustomed to both of us being present during this time; if Greg comes home late, they struggle to settle down without him.
Sure, some may label this as a poor habit, but many parenting practices can be deemed unconventional. Not only do we allow our kids to sleep later, but we also lie down with them until they drift off, violating the so-called sleep rules.
Ultimately, each family must find what works for them. If early bedtimes are effective for you, that’s wonderful! If you’re navigating late nights like we are, you’re not alone. Research is always evolving, and what may be true today could change tomorrow.
In parenting, it’s essential to prioritize what suits your family. Any external advice that adds unnecessary stress should be taken with a grain of salt.
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Summary
In conclusion, the bedtime routine should be tailored to each family’s needs. Early bedtimes may work for some, while others may find that their children thrive with later schedules. Embrace what’s right for your family, and don’t let outside pressures dictate your choices.
Keyphrase: late bedtimes for children
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