When my partner and I first began our journey together, we lived in a bustling apartment complex where we were strangers to everyone around us. Sure, we were familiar with the inconsiderate neighbor who routinely claimed our parking space and the late-night reveler who thought buzzing our door at 2 a.m. was acceptable. Overall, we kept to ourselves, lacking those close connections that form in a community.
Our first venture into homeownership took us to a suburban neighborhood near my partner’s job. As we navigated the world of landscaping and DIY projects, our neighbors often chuckled at our attempts, like our less-than-stellar mulching job. Though they would admire our efforts, we still lacked a solid group of friends for those much-anticipated Margarita Fridays or Saturday game nights.
Everything shifted once we welcomed children into our lives. Suddenly, it seemed everyone around us was eager to connect. It felt like we had been granted access to a secret society filled with everything from book clubs to cornhole tournaments. Our kids had instant playmates just next door, and we enjoyed the company of new friends over margaritas every weekend.
Yet, beneath the surface of our seemingly perfect neighborhood, I noticed underlying tensions. Disputes about social invitations, gossip regarding a neighbor’s extravagant garage addition, and long discussions about homes selling for less than their asking prices made me ponder whether neighborhoods needed more than just formal bylaws. We needed genuine guidelines that fostered community spirit and camaraderie.
Thus, I present my manifesto for our neighborhood:
- I promise to keep a fully stocked freezer of popsicles and won’t be offended if your child asks for one during the summer. We keep it simple and affordable in our community.
- If I see your child riding without a helmet, I will shout, “Hey, put that helmet on before you hurt yourself!”
- I won’t take offense if you skip my jewelry party or any other gatherings. In fact, any party that requires neighbors to pay for unwanted items is hereby banned.
- In the event of a natural disaster, I’ll assist your family in any way possible, whether that’s sending my partner to help or showing up with drinks to share while we work.
- While you’re on vacation, I will gladly collect your mail and newspaper. I promise not to judge if I see overdue bills!
- If I bring food to a gathering, it will be store-bought, price tag intact. Chips will remain in their bags, dips will have lids, and all desserts will be labeled with their grocery store origins. Drinks will be served in red Solo cups.
- I will always have coffee and wine on hand. If you’re having a tough day, I’ll offer you a coffee mug or a wine glass, no judgment at 9 a.m. for choosing wine.
- When “Thriller” plays at any event, I will get up and dance, complete with the evil laugh at the end. I’ll swiftly switch any modern music for ’80s classics.
- Parents running late will have bus stop duties covered by those who are on time, ensuring all kids are supervised until their tardy parents arrive.
- Dog owners must clean up after their pets. Failure to do so will result in being designated the annual block party planner.
- In cases of bereavement or emergency, please spare us the lasagna and opt for something else. A thoughtful gesture of alcohol is always appreciated.
- When a neighbor lists their house for sale, it’s fair game to check the listing online and discuss decor choices with others.
- Neighborhood games must include Cards Against Humanity, beer pong, and strip poker. Scrabble is absolutely prohibited on Saturday nights.
- If you don’t receive an invitation to an event, assume the hostess either forgot or thought you’d just join in. Don’t sulk—come on over!
- Share the pool and invite those without one to enjoy it.
Being part of a neighborhood doesn’t have to resemble a cookie-cutter community. These principles are ones I could embrace wholeheartedly. With the addition of a monthly “Beer Fund” and a block party featuring live music, I’d be more than happy to call this neighborhood home.
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In summary, embracing a genuine sense of community can transform neighborhood relationships from superficial to meaningful. Together, we can create a supportive environment for families, filled with laughter, shared experiences, and lasting friendships.
Keyphrase: Neighborhood Manifesto for Moms
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