As a child, I experienced spankings that I can still recall as a threat looming over me. The last incident remains etched in my memory. My cousin and I were engaged in a game of Girl Talk when one of the dares prompted us to prank call someone. I picked up a vintage portable phone with a long antenna and dialed a random number. An elderly woman answered. “Hello?” she greeted. “Bye!” I retorted before hanging up. We erupted in laughter, unaware of *69.
Moments later, the phone rang again. “Hello?” I answered. “I’d like to speak to your father, please,” came a voice that sounded strikingly familiar. I called my dad downstairs, and soon enough, he was roaring in response to our mischief. He scolded both of us, but only I faced the repercussions—he spanked me hard as I walked past. It stung. In that moment, I didn’t think about the consequences of my actions or feel remorse for the old lady; instead, I felt a mix of shame, anger, and a sense of powerlessness. I vowed never to use physical punishment on my own children.
As I grew older, I often reflected on that experience. Every instance of being spanked as a child brought back that same feeling of shame and rage. So, when I became pregnant, I was adamant: my child would never experience spanking. I confidently told everyone, “My child will not be spanked.” Reactions varied; some applauded, while others scoffed or warned, “Just wait.” Regardless, I remained resolute. There would be no corporal punishment in my home.
My commitment was reinforced when we applied to be foster parents and learned that corporal punishment was strictly prohibited. While others reacted with disbelief, I felt empowered knowing I could raise my children without resorting to physical punishment. I embraced the principles of positive parenting, which emphasize time-ins, emotional understanding, and never hitting or spanking children.
Then came the arrival of my three boys—ages 6, 4, and 2. One chaotic morning, amidst a disorganized home, I was attempting to apply makeup while listening to my children play. What began as joyful sounds quickly turned to chaos; my oldest rushed in, tearful and distressed. “Leo bit me!” he exclaimed, referring to the 4-year-old. Leo had spent the morning hitting and tackling his brothers. My oldest bore the marks of Leo’s aggression, complete with a small bruise. In that moment, I felt a surge of frustration, reminiscent of my father’s anger.
“Leonardo! Get in here!” I shouted. To my surprise, he complied. I grasped him by the arm and, in a moment of blind rage, spanked him hard. He cried in both pain and shock. “Don’t ever bite your brother again!” I yelled, watching him crumble into a heap of tears on the bathroom floor. In that instant, I was reminded of my vow never to inflict such punishment.
As I sat there, I recalled the principle of acknowledging one’s mistakes—an essential aspect of positive parenting. I often admit my errors, whether it’s raising my voice or rushing them through meals. But how does one apologize for an act of physical punishment? “Leo?” I began, kneeling beside him. “I’m really sorry for hitting you.” “You hit me, Mama!” he replied, shocked and hurt, because in his understanding, mothers don’t hit.
“I did,” I confessed. “I hit you out of anger, and I am truly sorry. I promise I won’t hit you again.” “You promise?” my 6-year-old asked, still observing. “I promise, sweetheart,” I reassured him.
However, once the door to spanking is opened, it becomes challenging to shut. I found myself resorting to threats of spanking, only to have my children remind me, “No hitting, Mama! You promised!” They were right, and I had to acknowledge my commitment.
Going forward, I hope to uphold my promise of non-violence in parenting. For more insights on creating a nurturing environment, consider reviewing resources on fertility and parenting, such as the fertility booster for men. It’s essential to foster emotional well-being, as highlighted in the IUI success resource. Additionally, for those considering home insemination methods, the babymaker at home insemination kit is a valuable tool.
In conclusion, navigating parenting challenges can be difficult, and it’s vital to reassess our actions and commitments regularly.
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