During my 10th-grade year, I encountered a chemistry teacher, whom I will refer to as Mr. Johnson. Mr. Johnson exhibited a blatant bias, frequently expressing that girls were not suited to grasp chemical concepts. This attitude made my struggle with the subject even more challenging. His condescending remarks when I sought help and his harsh grading left a lasting impression on me, resulting in a B-minus that I barely managed to earn. Even now, the thought of the Periodic Table sends a shiver down my spine.
Fast forward 30 years, and I find myself the mother of two bright, well-rounded children. Our school district is renowned for its dedicated educators and strong administrative support, making it a desirable location for families as kindergarten approaches. My children have received a stellar education, and we’ve been fortunate to connect with many exceptional teachers along the way, some of whom have even become close family friends. However, there was one notable exception: the year a teacher openly displayed her dislike for my son.
My son is an intelligent and curious child who has typically thrived academically. Math comes easily to him, and he has always read above his grade level. Generally, he is a diligent student, although his grades don’t always reflect his capabilities. However, everything changed a few years back when he faced difficulty in a particular class. Whether it was hormonal changes, increased academic demands, or a combination of both, he soon found himself overwhelmed. Forgotten assignments, declining test scores, and ineffective study habits became commonplace. After numerous discussions and arguments about his performance, he eventually admitted, in tears, that he truly struggled to understand the material.
While I do not believe in fighting my children’s battles, I feel it is crucial to advocate for them when they face academic challenges. Consequently, I arranged a meeting with the teacher. To my astonishment, she expressed her thoughts candidly. She claimed that she did not believe my son was as intelligent as he perceived himself to be, that she expected higher grades based on his IQ, and, most shockingly, that she simply did not like him. Hearing her say that she didn’t like my child left me momentarily speechless.
Instead of reacting defensively, I chose to remain composed, despite the tears of anger threatening to spill. I left the meeting with a heavy heart, realizing that my son had unwittingly encountered his own version of Mr. Johnson. It was clear that this teacher had developed a negative attitude after many years in the profession, and there was little hope for change. Thus, it became my responsibility to equip my son with the necessary tools to navigate a difficult relationship with a teacher who didn’t appreciate him.
Upon returning home, I had an honest conversation with my son about what the teacher had expressed. He acknowledged feeling that he was not her favorite student but assured me it didn’t bother him. He had decided to work diligently—not to prove her wrong, but to demonstrate to himself that he could master the material. When he concluded our conversation with a grin, saying, “It’ll really get to her if I get an A,” I realized he was going to be just fine.
Throughout the remainder of the year, he put forth immense effort, sought our assistance with challenging topics, and diligently practiced the material. When he brought home an A on his final report card, I was overwhelmed with joy. I inquired if the teacher had made any comments, and he shared that she made a disparaging remark about his lack of advancement in the subject, regardless of his hard work. He had responded wisely, stating, “Maybe not advanced, but definitely improved. Improvement is just as important.” His resilience left me in awe.
It’s important to understand that teachers are human, and it’s unrealistic to expect them to connect with every child in their classroom. While it was difficult for me to accept that my child felt undervalued by a teacher, I am grateful that I trusted his ability to rise to the challenge. He often reflects on how empowering that year was, revealing to him what he could achieve when he truly dedicated himself to a task. Children have an impressive capacity to surprise us if we allow them the opportunity.
As for my own chemistry skills, they remain lacking, and I can only recall the chemical symbol for gold. Yet, I take solace in knowing that I eventually earned an A in college chemistry, and it felt rewarding.
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In summary, the journey through education can be fraught with challenges, including encountering educators who may not appreciate every child. However, with support and resilience, children can thrive despite these obstacles.
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