On a frigid February night, Linda Harrison received the devastating call that no parent should ever have to answer: Her 19-year-old son, Jake, had died. Jake was a pledge at the Alpha Gamma fraternity at State University, where he had participated in a pledging event that involved excessive drinking the previous evening. Fraternity cameras revealed not only the encouragement of underage drinking but also a shocking indifference to Jake’s evident state of intoxication.
After several hours in a drinking-based challenge, Jake fell down a flight of stairs within the fraternity house. Footage showed fraternity members dragging him back upstairs and placing him on a couch, where he remained for 12 hours before anyone acknowledged that he needed urgent medical help. Instead of caring for him, his friends were seen slapping his face, punching his stomach, and pouring water on him as he lay unconscious. To prevent him from choking on his vomit, they resorted to a makeshift method of restraint, placing a backpack on his chest. What a display of friendship, right?
The timeline of events, as outlined in court documents and news reports, is harrowing for any parent. Jake was given his first drink shortly after 9 p.m. and was visibly drunk just an hour and a half later. He was incapacitated due to both his fall and alcohol overconsumption. For 12 hours, he was intermittently mistreated and ignored, spiraling deeper into an alcoholic coma before someone finally called for help.
It took a staggering 12 hours for someone to dial 911—the call that came far too late. Jake succumbed to complications stemming from this ordeal, leading to charges of manslaughter against several fraternity members involved in his death.
As I read this tragic account, I felt disbelief and anger. How could a group of young men abandon their friend in such distress? Was it peer pressure? Was it the fraternity culture at play? This is yet another story of a college student lost to poor choices and excess alcohol. It raises the question: Are we adequately preparing our children for the realities of alcohol consumption?
With my son, Alex, nearing his high school years, I find myself increasingly concerned. He is growing up quickly, and I have spent years instilling values of empathy and responsibility in him. Soon, he’ll be off to college, away from my guidance. What will he do in a similar situation? Will he have the courage to call for help? The thought of Alex facing the same fate as Jake terrifies me.
Parents, we must improve our efforts in educating our children about the dangers of alcohol consumption. We also need to equip them with the knowledge to recognize when a friend is in trouble. While it’s easy to point fingers at the university or fraternity, that will not change the tragic outcome for Jake.
We can seek justice in the courts, but that won’t heal the wounds for families like the Harrisons. We can judge the parents of those involved and assure ourselves that our children would never behave in such a reckless manner. However, anger and outrage after the fact will not solve the ongoing issue.
Having conversations about alcohol with your teen at the last minute—when they are about to leave for college—is insufficient. It is critical to start discussions early. Resources like talkearlyandoften.com and responsiblilty.org emphasize the need for proactive dialogue.
Talk to your kids early and often. Share your own experiences with alcohol, allowing them to see the implications of your choices. Discuss news stories about alcohol-related incidents and help them download a ride-sharing app, assuring them that you’ll cover the fare if necessary. Furthermore, share your college experiences—minus the overly embarrassing details—and emphasize the importance of looking out for friends.
Most importantly, engage them in discussions about cases like Jake’s. Role-play scenarios to help them feel confident in standing up for what is right, even when it’s difficult. After these conversations, listen to their perspectives on peer pressure and parties.
Engage in this dialogue, listen, and then repeat. Because there are parents out there who would give anything for just one more conversation with their child.