Every morning in our household begins with a flurry of activity. We wake up in a state of mild chaos, racing against the clock to complete our morning rituals. Tooth brushing, quick showers (or, on some days, a stylish top-knot), getting dressed, and preparing our children for school become our collective mission. Occasionally, we work together as a team, while other times, one parent has stayed up too late and takes the morning lead, allowing the other to catch a few extra moments of sleep.
On this particular day, the specifics of our late-night activities elude me, but the rush was palpable. I was halfway through getting dressed when my partner, David, hurriedly pulled on his undershirt, passing by me. I couldn’t help but reflect on how far we had come. Six years ago, a moment like this would have been punctuated by a playful comment or a tender kiss.
Today, mornings are about urgency; there are pressing demands to be met before time slips away. Our three children need help brushing their teeth, getting dressed, and managing the essentials of their day—like changing our youngest’s diaper, which is a pressing priority. Breakfast awaits preparation, hair needs styling, and my husband must get ready for work. I, too, strive to have at least brushed my teeth and removed yesterday’s mascara before dropping the kids off at school. Our mornings have morphed into a race against time.
I vividly recall walking hand in hand with David on our college campus, a beautiful spring day filled with sunshine. I wore a strappy floral dress and heels, embodying a carefree spirit. I dedicated an hour each morning to my appearance, ready to tackle any challenge in my heels. That was who I was when David first fell for me, the girl who could sprint through campus without hesitation.
Now, I hardly recognize that version of myself. The last time I spent an hour getting ready was probably for a friend’s wedding, where I had to navigate the complexities of draping a sari. My wardrobe has significantly shifted; athletic wear and loungewear dominate my closet, practical for the daily demands of motherhood. The idea of wearing dresses seems absurd when I constantly bend down to pick up toys or clean up after my toddler.
On my days off, wearing jeans feels like a success, and blow-drying my hair signals that something special is on the horizon. While I strive to maintain my health and appearance, my priorities have shifted dramatically. The tasks that once occupied my time—like getting ready—have been eclipsed by school drop-offs, meal prepping, and a myriad of other responsibilities that come with family life.
Relationships and marriages are dynamic; they evolve as life changes. I often wonder if David reflects on the girl he first met and if he longs for that version of me. But deep down, I realize that I am still that girl—just transformed and enriched. We have grown together, nurturing a family filled with kindness, empathy, and joy.
While I may no longer don a sundress and heels, I am the backbone of our family. I manage our household, ensure meals are prepared, and keep our lives organized. I understand the importance of nurturing our children’s growth and development, scheduling their activities, and ensuring they have what they need.
Do I think about whether David wishes for the girl from 14 years ago? Not really. Because I know I am still that girl, enriched by motherhood and partnership. Our mornings may lack the flirtation of yesteryear, but they are filled with love and commitment in different forms. Just last week, he let me sleep in and brought me my favorite coffee before heading to work—proof that our bond remains strong, even if it looks different now.
David and I are no longer those carefree college students; we have evolved into a dedicated team, navigating the challenges of family life. We embrace this season together, confident in our love and commitment to each other and our children.
For those interested in family planning and home insemination, resources like Make A Mom and March of Dimes provide valuable information and support.