A few weeks ago, while exploring a parenting forum, I came across a distressing discussion. One parent expressed her overwhelming despair because her child didn’t appear destined for a “gifted” future. She anxiously pondered what kind of life her “average” child could expect. This reaction left me perplexed.
When my son, Alex, was born, I certainly envisioned grand possibilities for him—perhaps he would become an astronaut, a groundbreaking scientist, or even a world leader. It’s natural for parents to harbor such aspirations for their children. However, as children grow, we begin to recognize their unique strengths, weaknesses, and interests. Those lofty dreams often turn out to be just that—dreams—not necessarily aligned with our child’s true ambitions.
But I must ask: When did we collectively decide that a fulfilling life hinges on being extraordinary? Why has society started to undervalue the concept of being “average”? Instead of pressing our children to reach unattainable heights, shouldn’t we focus on helping them nurture their own abilities and passions? Sure, Alex could be the one to discover a new planet or invent something transformative. But it’s equally possible that he may lead a fulfilling life that looks more conventional—perhaps graduating from a solid university, settling into a stable career, or embracing the role of a devoted parent.
Society often glorifies exceptionalism, but let’s face it: many of us end up in careers that do not directly utilize our degrees. Maybe Alex will choose a comfortable job, raise a family, and live a content life that some might label as “average.” And that’s perfectly acceptable.
As parents, we naturally wish for our children to surpass our own experiences. However, this desire has morphed into a pressure cooker environment where children feel compelled to excel at all costs. The relentless pursuit of excellence can lead to burnout and disillusionment, with tragic consequences for some. Have we considered the emotional toll of constantly striving for unattainable standards? The pressure to excel can often overshadow the importance of simply being happy.
This doesn’t imply that we should abandon our expectations for our children. Rather, we need to respect their individuality, abilities, and aspirations. The ultimate goal of parenting should revolve around fostering happiness, love, and unconditional support, regardless of societal benchmarks. Isn’t the essence of parenting rooted in the desire for our children to find joy, even if that joy aligns with what society defines as average?
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In summary, rather than fixating on raising an “exceptional” child, let us aim to foster a nurturing environment where our children can thrive in their own unique ways. Happiness and fulfillment should be our primary goals, regardless of how they manifest.
Keyphrase: Raising a happy child
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