The “bitching hour” is a misnomer—it’s not just an hour, but rather the chaotic time frame between 5 and 7 p.m. when parents are tasked with feeding, bathing, dressing, and eventually calming their children down for sleep. This period truly tests your skills as a caregiver.
In my household, this is when all the major meltdowns occur. Hair gets tugged, limbs are playfully bitten, food goes airborne, and toys are mercilessly thrown about. And that’s just me losing my cool. The kids are dashing around the house, seemingly in a battle for supremacy, while I’m desperately trying to drown out the noise with the television blaring the news. And yes, that means a generous pour of wine—because who doesn’t need it?
During these frantic moments, exhaustion sets in, making the cacophony even more grating than earlier in the day. Tantrums reach epic proportions, and if I’ve attempted to channel my inner chef by preparing a nutritious meal, I’m left frustrated when the kids won’t even take a single bite. Out come the quick-fix options like instant noodles or eggs on toast. Depending on my patience level, it might even resort to a bowl of cornflakes. After all, corn is technically a vegetable, fruit, and grain—so there’s that, right?
Post-dinner, the scene often resembles a chaotic circus: kids running around in their birthday suits, leaving sticky fingerprints on every surface, while the dog is preoccupied with the toddler who had an accident on the floor. I find myself reaching for more wine, and even more when I’m down on my hands and knees cleaning up, only to discover that the little one has decided the bathtub is a slide, leaving a delightful mess in his wake. Just as I think it can’t get worse, the older child chooses this moment to have a meltdown of their own, and I’m left gagging at the stench, all before 5:45 p.m.
Bath time is an exercise in endurance, where I try to keep the water warm enough to prevent them from turning into icicles, and it’s still only 6:15 p.m. I need a lifeline. As I attempt to dress them, they dart in opposite directions, giggling like little maniacs. I finally manage to wrangle one into pajamas, only to find the other has turned my makeup drawer into a glitter bomb and created a mini disaster with expensive perfumes.
As exhaustion mounts, I find myself slamming the little one into bed, skipping storytime in a moment of desperation—after all, they won’t remember it anyway. The end of this chaotic evening is nearing.
The older child demands a story, and I dutifully read, filling up their drink bottle, ensuring the right socks are on, and making sure the nightlight isn’t too bright—all while trying to keep my sanity intact. If I’m fortunate, they’ll drift off around 7 p.m. If not, I’ll be making repeated trips down the hallway to address every minor complaint until I’m entirely frazzled.
Finally, just as I manage to sit down with a glass of wine, my partner walks in, and the dogs start barking, waking both children. “How was your day?” they ask, and I can only laugh.
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Summary
Parenting during the evening can be chaotic and stressful, particularly between 5 and 7 p.m. when children are at their most energetic and demanding. This time often tests patience as parents juggle feeding, bathing, and settling their kids for bed amid the inevitable mess and noise. Finding humor and support can make this challenging period more manageable.
Keyphrase: evening parenting chaos
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